Tsk, tsk, tsk... some people just can't handle a little competition. You recall, of course, the announcement of the XtremMac back in early August, right? Xtrem claimed that by doing some incredibly scientific-sounding and top secret stuff to a standard 500 MHz G4 processor and then installing it into a 3D rendering of a Shure microphone, they'd wind up with a G4-based Mac clone running at an astonishing 1200 MHz. The XtremMac is still "under development," but it's due to blow our socks off "by the end of 2000." (Hmmm, the clock's ticking, people-- in order to ship within eight weeks, one would think that Xtrem would have to have a fully-functional prototype by now, right? Obviously we'll see a press release any minute now.) Meanwhile, the company is hard at work trying to hook a G4 up to a VCR remote control's "fast forward" button to see if that helps at all, while shipping $60 jumper block kits that allow existing Mac users the fastest, most effective method to void their warranties.

Generally, we'd simply say "more power to 'em" and let Xtrem get back to their EXTREMELY SCIENTIFIC experiments involving strapping a G4 to a model rocket engine while repeatedly chanting the name of Mario Andretti, but now they're messing with AtAT's sponsorship. Many of you probably recall that AtAT officially endorsed Xtrem's primary competitor, hoaXtrem, when the company announced a 1200 GHz-- yes, 1.2 terahertz-- computer that theoretically whupped the pants off of Xtrem's own theoretical offering. Unfortunately, Xtrem's CEO (obviously desperately grasping at straws in the face of such overwhelming competition) sent a nasty letter to our glorious benefactors, demanding that the hoaXtrem site be "immediately terminate[d]."

Well! Thank goodness the industry wizards at hoaXtrem have a clever legal department, because the company has refused to deactivate its web site, instead planning to fight any threatened legal action in a unique way: hoaXtrem intends to argue that its web site is a parody. Smart! Since, in this country, parody is still a valid defense from copyright infringement and libel/slander charges, the hoaXtrem people are brazenly leveraging the entirely coincidental similarities between its own site and that of Xtrem's by claiming that it's all just a joke. Since the 1200 GHz hoaXtremMac isn't due to ship until the year 2200 anyway, it's not like they'll lose much business that way.

All we can say is, if Xtrem decides to proceed with a frivolous lawsuit (instead of devoting all its resources to cross-breeding G4 chips with cheetahs on crystal meth), this better not mess up our endorsement contract. Come the year 2200, that free 1200 GHz hoaXtremMac better show up on the doorstep of our great-great-great-great-great-grandkids, or the descendents of the Xtrem staff will have hell to pay for nixing the deal. When it comes to missing out on free gear, our wrath transcends generations.