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Train Wrecks Can Be Fun! (1/15/01)
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We hope you enjoyed the giddy highs of Expo Week, boys and girls, because unfortunately it's drawn to a close-- and we find a far less joyous occasion bearing down upon us like a runaway freight train. We've gotten our glimpse at the PowerBook G4, our welcome increase to 733 MHz, that snazzy new SuperDrive, and a far more finished-looking Mac OS X-- but now it's time to deal with more mundane and far less fun subjects. It's kind of like Christmas morning; all the anticipation has reached its climax, the presents are open, there's wrapping paper strewn all over the house, and it's time to clean up the mess. And Apple, you may recall, has one awful big mess to deal with.
We speak, of course, of that looming quarterly loss. Come Wednesday at 2PM Pacific time, money czar Fred Anderson will commence his quarterly conference call with the Wall Street analysts and reveal the actual numbers for Apple's first loss since Steve's return to the company he cofounded. Tune in live via QuickTime for the festivities, because you can bet with a loss of up to a quarter of a billion dollars on the books, Fred's going to drag Steve along for all the Reality Distortion Field help he can muster.
On the home front, the higgledy-piggledy sitch with AtAT's broadcast connection originally prompted us to skip our quarterly Beat The Analysts contest this time around, but a few factors prompted us to reconsider. For one thing, the transition to our temporary line seems to be going quite well. For another, we really didn't like the idea of missing Apple's first dramatic return to the Red Ink Club after three full years of swimming in the black instead. And lastly, the viewer outcry was staggering, and the sheer deluge of protests forced us to change our minds. (Actually, we only got one complaint, but frankly, we just couldn't bear to let faithful viewer Mark Czynski down.)
While a giant Apple quarterly loss will no doubt weigh heavily upon your heart, surely the prize of your choice from the Baffling Vault of Antiquity™ (not to mention the glory of seeing your name in lights on AtAT) will help lighten your spirits, right? So don't delay and enter today, because you've only got a couple of days before we close the contest and await the bad news. Who says financial tragedy can't be entertaining?
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And Now For A Word From Our Sponsors |
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 | | The above scene was taken from the 1/15/01 episode: January 15, 2001: Apple slashes prices on some iMac models, while the whole line gets end-of-lifed in inventory systems across the globe; what could that possibly foretell? Meanwhile, Steve lets the expletives fly in an Expo meeting with Apple resellers, and we're just two days away from Apple's quarterly financial conference call and that looming quarter-billion-dollar loss...
Other scenes from that episode: 2796: Pattern Recognition 101 (1/15/01) Time for a little lesson in deductive reasoning, kiddies! First of all, remember when Apple issued rebates on all Power Macs and PowerBooks late last year? Then remember how the company slashed prices on those very same products as soon as the rebate promotion ended, and mere days before last week's Macworld Expo?... 2797: One More (BLEEP)in' Thing... (1/15/01) Here's the thing about Steve Jobs: as far as persuasive mercurial iCEOs go, he's the persuasivest. Yes, he's so good, we're even willing to make up new words to describe him, because the two-word phrase "most persuasive" just doesn't do him justice...
Or view the entire episode as originally broadcast... | |  |
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