Intel's Motto: "Speed Kills." (1/24/01)
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While we're dredging up ancient AtAT history, do any of you recall that 64-bit processor that was being co-developed by Intel and Hewlett-Packard which threatened to stomp all other chips, including our own beloved PowerPC? Originally we knew it by its code name of "Merced," but eventually Intel settled on the absolutely baffling official name of "Itanium." Anyway, if you thought Motorola was bad, Intel wins the lateness crown based purely on the Itanium alone. It's missed ship date after ship date, and is now something like twenty-eight years behind schedule; in fact, we're pretty sure that Intel processors that were supposed to come after the Itanium may already be shipping. Imagine the fun if Motorola shipped a G5 before they ever got the G4 out the door. (Actually, given the G4 production difficulties, that'd probably be wonderful.)

Anyway, the Itanium is apparently just about ready for prime time. Actually, let's clarify that; it's just about ready for release. Whether it actually performs well enough to live up to even half its hype is a whole different matter altogether. See, since the Itanium will begin life as a 64-bit processor in a 32-bit world, Intel's designers decided to include on-chip hardware to allow it to run in 32-bit mode, so that people could actually run existing software on it. This was widely held to be a Very Clever Thing To Do™, since an on-chip hardware emulator would surely be faster than any sort of software-based emulation, right?

Wrong. According to The Register, recent tests have shown that an Itanium running several existing 32-bit applications yielded performance comparable to a 75 MHz Pentium-- although in some situations, the chip would show a burst of speed and run as fast as a 100 MHz Pentium. Now that's performance! A three-year-old PowerBook can beat that by running Virtual PC. Between the Itanium's frighteningly slow 32-bit mode and the new 1.5 GHz Pentium 4 often running slower than a 1 GHz Pentium III, we can't help but wonder if Intel has a new design philosophy or something. But hey, it's just another opportunity for the PowerPC to catch up; hopefully Motorola won't throw this chance away.

 
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From the writer/creator of AtAT, a Pandemic Dad Joke taken WAYYYYYY too far

 

The above scene was taken from the 1/24/01 episode:

January 24, 2001: Apparently Motorola's designers got it goin' on-- but the manufacturing division needs a swift kick in the kiester. Meanwhile, Microsoft settles its Java lawsuit with Sun and may be kissing the language goodbye altogether, and Intel's new 64-bit Itanium processor reportedly runs existing 32-bit software at roughly the speed of a Pentium 75...

Other scenes from that episode:

  • 2817: Execution Is Everything (1/24/01)   Well, looky here; if AppleInsider's latest report is accurate, it seems that we at AtAT might owe Motorola's PowerPC design engineers a heartfelt apology. As first pointed out to us by faithful viewer Jonathan Reitnauer, an AI source claims that Motorola's development team in Somerset is "doing some really cool stuff" and even has PowerPC processors running at speeds "far beyond" the current public high-water mark of 733 MHz...

  • 2818: It's Decaf For Microsoft (1/24/01)   It's official: the Sun-Microsoft lawsuit has finally been settled. Of course, lots of you are now asking, "What Sun-Microsoft lawsuit?" That's not terribly surprising; lawsuits usually take so long to resolve that we barely remember this one ourselves, especially given our failure-prone memories and our appallingly short attention spans...

Or view the entire episode as originally broadcast...

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