Did He Wear A Turtleneck? (1/29/01)
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Everybody knows that when it comes to copying Steve Jobs and Apple, Mike Dell is the undisputed king. However, his Steve emulation appears to be primarily pathological in nature; clearly the man is obsessed, can't control his actions, and is a danger to himself and others. (How else can you explain his duplication of even Apple's missteps, like the earnings warnings and the flaming laptops?) Bill Gates, on the other hand, isn't insane; he's just shameless. Microsoft copies Apple's ideas when Bill sees something worth ripping off. Think of it as a compliment-- a big, brazen, hi-I'm-stealing-your-ideas hug.

Recent chapters in the ages-old saga of Microsoft "borrowing" from Apple include the new "brushed metal" look of Windows Media Player (QuickTime Player, anyone?) and the advent of Windows Movie Maker. Those "advances" were announced over a year ago, though, which means that Billy-boy's due for another sweeping misappropriation of an Apple strategy. And wouldn't you know it? Right on schedule (the man is nothing if not prompt!), according to CNNfn, the inimitable Mr. Gates got up in front of a crowd at the World Economic Forum and announced to the assembled masses that "the personal computer is not dead."

Gee, where have we heard that before? Oh, that's right-- a little thing we like to call the last Stevenote, at which Apple's iCEO said the same thing just three weeks ago. Okay, okay, technically Gates has been arguing that the PC remains a viable device for far longer than three weeks, now, but still, the timing is suspicious, right? And even if you don't accept the whole "PCs aren't dead" thing as a Steve rip-off, consider what Bill said next: "Gates explained his vision of the PC at the core of a network of these [wireless] devices." He then underscored "the PC's ability to link handheld computers, mobile phones and other electronic gadgets."

So let us get this straight: Bill's "vision" is that a personal computer should act as... well, perhaps we should call it a "digital hub." Why, that's brilliant! Now why didn't anyone else ever think of that before? It's so nice to see that Microsoft is branching out; instead of just stealing Apple's products, Bill is now stealing Steve's speeches, too.

 
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The above scene was taken from the 1/29/01 episode:

January 29, 2001: "1984" loses the Super Bowl, but at least the Mac helped the winning team. Meanwhile, Bill Gates has been rehearsing Steve's last keynote address for his own public speeches, and sources close to Microsoft indicate that Mac OS X's Aqua interface has struck mortal fear into the Redmond Horde...

Other scenes from that episode:

  • 2826: We Had Money On That! (1/29/01)   Wait, yesterday was the what bowl? Oh, that's the thing with all the commercials, right? Yeah... well, whoever scheduled it against a night of Sunday night Fox reruns seriously misforecast our viewing habits, but hey, there's always the distant possibility that we weren't the target audience anyway...

  • 2828: Lickable Screens For All (1/29/01)   Just because Bill Gates is busy mining Steve's keynote addresses for material for his own little speeches, don't worry-- his minions are working overtime to swipe ideas at the product level, too. Everyone who registers more EEG activity than a turnip knows that Windows was a baldfaced theft of the original Macintosh interface-- and according to an article in Windows 2000 Magazine forwarded to us by faithful viewer David Triska, history is about to repeat itself, big-time...

Or view the entire episode as originally broadcast...

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