Hey, kids, it's time once again to check in on Mike Dell and the state of his dangerous copycat obsession with Steve Jobs! When last we examined this fascinating phenomenon, Mr. Dell was trying hard to channel the very essence of Steve by appropriating elements of last January's Expo Stevenote; three weeks after Apple's iCEO-for-life discussed the continued viability of the personal computer and its evolution as the hub of the modern digital lifestyle, Mike was off in London telling anyone who would listen about how "the PC will remain central to people's lives" as "the center of an entertainment system." So what's Mikey got in store for us this time around?

Well, as faithful viewer Dave Rose points out, CNET recently reported that Dell plans to cut 1700 jobs due to the cooling demand for personal computers. Granted, that sounds more like Motorola emulation than a theft of one of Apple's moves, but Dave raises a very important question: "Are they beleaguered yet?" See, we figure that since Mike's follow-the-leader approach still hasn't garnered his company the elusive b-word that was once synonymous with Apple Computer, he's started to color outside the lines. Never mind that Apple hasn't laid anyone off in years; Mike wants Dell to be called "beleaguered." He needs Dell to be called "beleaguered." And if axing 1700 jobs is the way to do it, then by golly, let the pink slips fly!

Unfortunately, the media still hasn't taken the bait. Just take a look at the Associated Press article on Dell's recent woes that faithful viewer GORDYmac sent our way. It certainly doesn't lack an abundance of negative words and phrases: "reductions," "reorganization," "lower expectations," "layoff," "challenging," "slowdown," "sluggish," "hiring freeze," "reduced demand," "limited," "shutting down," "warned," and "diminishing" all appear somewhere on the page. But "beleaguered"? Nope. And you can bet that Mikey's chewing his own legs off in frustration right about now.

It's no secret that, in this effort, at least, we wish Mike Dell all the success in the world; in fact, we've been lobbying for the widespread use of the phrase "beleaguered Dell" for over a year now, and we have faith that sooner or later, Mike will accomplish his greatest goal. After all, Apple's not the only high-tech company to win the "beleaguered" tag from the media at large; heck, even Microsoft pulled it off once. So we're pulling for you, Mike! It's only a matter of time.