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Total Power Can Be Yours (4/27/01)
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We know most of you are antsy about Tuesday's press event, especially since we're all mired in the news lull that typically precedes these Apple announcements of biblical import. Many of you are trying to fill the gap with yet more frenzied speculation, but be warned: too much Apple prognostication can be hazardous to your health. It's important that you take frequent breaks, or you'll just be a babbling, gelatinous wreck come Tuesday, and you won't get to enjoy the proceedings. We recommend taking up basket-weaving or thumb-twiddling to pass the time-- or for those of you who just happen to be Mac developers, maybe you could spend a little time taking over the world.
Yes, that's right; we said "taking over the world." After all, now Apple has made it easy! It's no big secret that when they aren't proselytizing via the occasional crucifix-showing, the Visuals in iTunes are pumping out Jobsian Reality Distortion Field energy at an alarming rate. Chalk it all up to Steve's master plan to enslave the Mac community as a constant source of renewable income and (when the time is right) an unquestioning militia ready to overthrow the world powers in a bloody coup, thus establishing Steve as the One True Emperor.
But now you, too, can get in on the action! Apple has posted the iTunes Visual Plug-ins SDK, a developer kit that lets other budding evil geniuses create their own swirly hypnotic musical thingamajigs. All you need is some programming ability, a copy of CodeWarrior Pro 6, a little free time on your hands, and a seething lust for ultimate power. Once you've created your throbbing, pulsating instrument of mind control (or nausea, or feline restlessness, or whatever other evil scheme you've got in mind), just post it to a web site, spread the word, and watch the suckers download like mad. It's just that simple! Get started today!
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SceneLink (3020)
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And Now For A Word From Our Sponsors |
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 | | The above scene was taken from the 4/27/01 episode: April 27, 2001: Heads up-- that "Sony-Apple buyout" rumor is back from the dead, though no one seems to be paying attention. Meanwhile, the sudden appearance of nothing but Mac OS X propaganda on Apple's home page raises questions about what might be in the cards this Tuesday, and with the new iTunes Visual Plug-ins SDK, you too can be an evil madman bent on world domination...
Other scenes from that episode: 3018: Everyone Loves A Buyout (4/27/01) See, the problem with all the speculation that flies through the ether just before any big Apple announcement is that people tend to focus too much on the plausible. They spin cautious scenarios involving new iBooks (which are practically a given, since even Apple's stopped selling the current models) and Apple retail stores (which we've all known for ages isn't a matter of "if," but "when"), all for the sake of accuracy... 3019: Is Summer Here Already? (4/27/01) If you're still working on your Colossal Compendium of All May 1st Possibilities, don't forget to throw a little Mac OS X speculation into the mix. It's a pretty safe bet that an update to 10.0.2 might make an appearance, since Steve did promise us CD-RW compatibility by the end of April...
Or view the entire episode as originally broadcast... | |  |
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