Everyone Loves A Buyout (4/27/01)
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See, the problem with all the speculation that flies through the ether just before any big Apple announcement is that people tend to focus too much on the plausible. They spin cautious scenarios involving new iBooks (which are practically a given, since even Apple's stopped selling the current models) and Apple retail stores (which we've all known for ages isn't a matter of "if," but "when"), all for the sake of accuracy. Well, we say accuracy's overrated; sure, it's fine to be correct, but not at the expense of some good old fashioned high drama! It's a matter of setting priorities, people.

That's why we're so pleased at one particular story currently making the rounds; faithful viewer Brigala tipped us off that one serious mother of a rumor that originally burned too brightly and all too briefly back in January appears to be enjoying a minor resurrection. You may recall a span of about twelve seconds back then when the foreign markets were awash in whispers that Apple was about to be acquired-- not by Disney, as that hackneyed old story so often goes, but rather by Sony. Sadly, Sony quelled the rumor posthaste by publicly declaring that it wouldn't consider buying Apple even if Steve extended a bid. So much for that promising young rumor, snuffed out while still in short pants. (Quick, someone put on some somber music and recite from Housman's "To an Athlete Dying Young.")

But wait-- what's this? Quote.com is giving the deflated rumor a second chance at life. It's short, but sweet: "Apple Computer (AAPL) $25.74. Rumor that (SNE) will acquire the company for $40 a share. Both companies were unavailable for comment." Note that the snippet is date-stamped 04/26/2001, so this isn't just something that was posted back in early January. Either there's a new round of Sony-Apple buyout rumors starting up, or Quote.com and JAGRumors are about three and a half months behind on posting their content.

Sadly, at least if Apple's stock price is any indication, nobody really seems to be taking the bait (suppose that has something to do with a complete and utter lack of evidence or details?), and so we fear that once again this promising little rumor will sputter out long before reaching critical mass. It's a shame, since there are factors that should give this story legs: Steve Jobs has, on a number of occasions, voiced his desire to make Apple "the Sony of the computer world," and his constant comparisons to Sony's VAIO during the PowerBook G4 introduction might lead one to suspect that he's just dying to sell out. But even those juicy clues apparently aren't enough to outweigh Sony's strident "No Apple Buyout" mandate in January. So much for second chances. But if you're looking for the prospect of real drama at this Tuesday's Apple Press Event, look no further-- it'll be hard to top this.

 
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The above scene was taken from the 4/27/01 episode:

April 27, 2001: Heads up-- that "Sony-Apple buyout" rumor is back from the dead, though no one seems to be paying attention. Meanwhile, the sudden appearance of nothing but Mac OS X propaganda on Apple's home page raises questions about what might be in the cards this Tuesday, and with the new iTunes Visual Plug-ins SDK, you too can be an evil madman bent on world domination...

Other scenes from that episode:

  • 3019: Is Summer Here Already? (4/27/01)   If you're still working on your Colossal Compendium of All May 1st Possibilities, don't forget to throw a little Mac OS X speculation into the mix. It's a pretty safe bet that an update to 10.0.2 might make an appearance, since Steve did promise us CD-RW compatibility by the end of April...

  • 3020: Total Power Can Be Yours (4/27/01)   We know most of you are antsy about Tuesday's press event, especially since we're all mired in the news lull that typically precedes these Apple announcements of biblical import. Many of you are trying to fill the gap with yet more frenzied speculation, but be warned: too much Apple prognostication can be hazardous to your health...

Or view the entire episode as originally broadcast...

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