|
Let's Get Sushi And Not Pay (5/8/01)
|
 
|
| | |
Chalk up yet another byproduct of the Dot-Bomb: repo men working overtime to snatch back all those fancy cars. You know the ones; all those Beemers, Benzes, and Batmobiles that stock-option millionaires bought at the height of the Bubble Economy before somebody grabbed a calculator and actually started doing the math. It's no secret that many of the Tech Stock Wünderkinder are having trouble paying their bills these days, and evidently when the banks come a-knockin', the wheels are often first to go. Talk about your classic American tragedy...
Worse yet, while Apple employees are some of the hardest working geeks in show business, unfortunately the collapse of AAPL's stock value from a high of about $75 to its current $25-ish levels rendered a whole lot of stock options utterly worthless-- which means it's time for the banks to grab back some toys. According to Think Secret, the Wall Street Journal recently featured an interview with a Silicon Valley repo king who apparently finds Apple's parking lot to be a goldmine of easy pickin's; says he, "It's unbelievable how many cars I got from that lot-- 100 cars easily." Evil. Evil!! (Note to Steve: keep a close eye on that jet of yours. Use The Club.)
In an economy like this, we're actually a little surprised that Apple doesn't offer its poverty-stricken employees a real perk: a repo-proof parking lot. Given how successfully Steve's death-squad minions have prevented Apple's trade secrets from leaving the building, surely they'd be just as effective at thwarting the unsanctioned removal of employee vehicles from the lot. In fact, with a benefit like that to trumpet, you can bet that Apple would attract the best and the brightest from all over the Valley. It's the least Steve can do for his faithful little elves; after all, it's not their fault they can't pay their bills. We blame society. Society made them what they are. (Yeah, but it still hurts...)
| |
| |
 |
SceneLink (3039)
|  |
 |
|
And Now For A Word From Our Sponsors |
| | | |
|
| |
|
 | | The above scene was taken from the 5/8/01 episode: May 8, 2001: Apple finally admits that it's going to open its own retail stores; now what are we going to speculate about? Meanwhile, Apple is looking for a Microprocessor Development Project Manager, reviving talk of an Apple handheld device, and following the recent tech stock collapse, Apple employees are losing their wheels to overworked repo men...
Other scenes from that episode: 3037: Finally: It's Officially Official (5/8/01) Geez, try to take one day off to deal with personal matters, and what happens? Our AirPort Base Station decides to fry its capacitors, a database server eats its own hard disk for lunch, and Apple (evidently worn down by our consistently witty barbs) finally gets with the love on the whole Apple retail stores gig and owns up to the plan publicly-- conveniently enough, at a time when we're so overwhelmed with hardware failures and personal stuff we couldn't actually produce a soap opera about it we tried... 3038: Yum! Apple-Flavored Chips (5/8/01) Okay, so as of yesterday, Apple has tumbled to the fact that it's planning to open its own retail stores. We're glad that Steve and friends have finally come clean, but of course there's a distinct drawback to this development: what are we all supposed to speculate about now?...
Or view the entire episode as originally broadcast... | |  |
|
|
