The Power Mac Of The Beast (6/11/01)

We may have attention spans shorter than a Yahoo Serious film festival, but if the consequences are painful enough, even we can learn from our mistakes. For example, last November we raised the issue of the German government looking to ban Microsoft software because of its ties to Scientology; at the time we figured we maintained an appropriately neutral stance (on Scientology, that is-- we still blithely referred to Microsoft's "inherent suckiness"). When our inbox exploded a few hours later, however, we discovered that not everyone felt the same. Simply by mentioning Scientology and neither praising nor condemning it, some people thanked us for our "openmindedness" and "religious tolerance," while others flamed us to a crisp for allegedly lending a hint of respectability to a "dangerous cult." We were caught in the middle of a vicious debate of which we wanted no part whatsoever. Believe us, we learned our lesson; we'll be avoiding any mention of that sort of controversy again.

On a completely unrelated note, did you know that Apple's lawyers have taken on the Church of Satan?

Thanks to a tip via the Mac EvangeList, we wandered over to the "Official Church of Satan Website," scrolled all the way down, and clicked on the picture of a snake-wearing Anton LaVey which bears the slogan "We 'think TOO different.'" If you do the same, you'll be treated to a detailed account of the Satanists' run-ins with Apple's legal team, who evidently decided that Barnum was wrong and that there is such a thing as bad publicity. Apparently the webmaster of just happens to be an avid Mac user, and seeing as his entire site was indeed created with Apple's products, he chose proudly to display one of those little "Made With Macintosh" web badges that you encounter from time to time. He also posted a black-and-white photo of church founder LaVey (himself described as an "ardent supporter and exclusive user of Apple Computer's products and services") with "Think different" and the Apple logo superimposed.

Predictably, Apple's lawyers soon insisted that both the "Made With Macintosh" badge and the "Think Different" parody as presented on the Church of Satan site were "likely to tarnish the goodwill associated with the APPLE Marks, and constitute dilution," and therefore needed to be removed. What, no endorsement contract? (Whether or not you're wondering what Apple Legal was doing at in the first place depends entirely on your opinions of both lawyers and Satanists; leave us out of it.) After a bit of back-and-forth, Satan's Webmaster (man, we'd sell our souls for a business card like that!) eventually complied-- noting, however, that Apple's seemingly bigoted demand "diminish[ed his] respect for a company which has previously held [his] esteem as one of the true forces for free-thought and innovation in today's marketplace of ideas and technology."

Now, you can choose to interpret Apple's move however you like. Perhaps Apple is fervently anti-Satanist and acted accordingly. Or maybe the company simply acted as it always does to protect its intellectual property; we doubt that Apple is religiously opposed to Internet greeting cards on principle, for example. Even likelier, Apple as a corporation couldn't care less about the Church of Satan-- but does care what other people think about the organization, and moved to prevent a potential loss of sales. (A sales drop among the Satanist market was evidently deemed worth the risk.) Whatever the story, one positive fact remains: the Mac's appeal really is universal.

SceneLink (3106)
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From the writer/creator of AtAT, a Pandemic Dad Joke taken WAYYYYYY too far


The above scene was taken from the 6/11/01 episode:

June 11, 2001: Apple Legal tries to rid itself of an unsolicited endorsement by the Church of Satan. Meanwhile, Larry Ellison is talking to the press again, but it's all Steve-praise and no product info leaks, and Apple confirms that an Apple Store is coming to Cambridge, MA, thus provoking a Happy Dance at AtAT headquarters...

Other scenes from that episode:

  • 3107: Larry: Lotsa Praise, No Dirt (6/11/01)   Looks like we got our hopes up for nothing. Oracle CEO and Apple board member Larry "Listen To Me Talk" Ellison was nattering with the press again, and you know what that means: when we're lucky, he occasionally lets slip something juicy (and sometimes woefully inaccurate) about Apple's upcoming product lines...

  • 3108: Just Around The Corner (6/11/01)   What better way to kill valuable airtime during this stultifying lull in the normally turbulent world of Mac drama than by checking in with Apple's official list of open Mac Genius positions? And lo and behold, there's some good news for Mac fans living on the nation's southeastern peninsula-- there are no fewer than three imminent Florida Apple Stores looking for talent: Tampa, Miami, and Wellington Green...

Or view the entire episode as originally broadcast...

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