I'd Like To Thank My Agent... (8/22/01)
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Okay, this is getting ridiculous. It's bad enough that Buffy couldn't score an Emmy nomination for "The Body," which was easily one of the most powerful hours of television ever to hit us in the chest like an emotional freight train. On top of that, after nearly four full seasons on the air and numerous awards from other organizations, AtAT has still never been nominated for an Emmy, daytime or otherwise-- a fact which we're finding it harder and harder not to interpret as a deliberate snub by the Academy of Television Arts and Sciences. But to top it all off, what do we discover today? That Apple-- Apple!-- is receiving an Emmy award before we are. Clearly there is no justice in this world.

Faithful viewer Daveness delicately broke the news to us by forwarding a New York Times article discussing Apple's imminent engineering Emmy for FireWire, the high-speed peripheral interconnect bus that's got Hollywood all abuzz. No, they're not giving Apple an Emmy for making high-speed CD-RW drives easier to hook up; this award's all about cheap and lossless video editing whether in the studio or on the go. You know, TV producers editing video footage in the air between New York and L.A. like it ain't no thang; all that jazz. That's evidently enough of a contribution to the wonderful world of television to rate an Emmy these days. (Incidentally, if any of you were still worried that USB 2.0 would kill off FireWire, it's probably safe to put those fears to rest.)

We suppose this is the part where we're supposed to grin through tightly-clenched teeth and say just how happy we are for Apple's success. And, indeed, we are pretty thrilled that FireWire is finally getting the recognition it deserves; we're the first to admit that being able to plug our camcorder into our PowerBook and edit raw footage into something approaching a gripping and semi-professional-looking piece of work is nothing short of miraculous. Now if iMovie only came with more transitions, we could really break into the big time. (We're hurting for a Star Wipe. Bad.)

Meanwhile, we figure we'll just settle into our predestined role as the Susan Lucci of net-based soaps and sit through the remainder of our own eighteen-year wait for recognition by the Academy. Surely at least our t-shirts should qualify us for a costuming nomination; geez, even Buffy's been nominated in past years for best hairstyling...


 
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The above scene was taken from the 8/22/01 episode:

August 22, 2001: Motorola backpedals slightly and announces that if its chip business doesn't pick up, it's bye-bye semiconductors. Meanwhile, Apple beats us to an Emmy (which it's winning for creating FireWire), and our fevered dreams suggest that non-education customers might want to wait a couple of days before buying a new PowerBook...

Other scenes from that episode:

  • 3257: Get Profitable Or Get Sold (8/22/01)   We all know that Motorola has been "troubled" for the past year or so, what with the thousands of layoffs, the plant closings, its first quarterly loss in years, and the sale of hundreds of lower-echelon employees to human toxicity testing labs and pet food companies in order to raise some quick cash...

  • 3259: Someone Pass The Maalox (8/22/01)   It figures that we'd have to learn the hard way. Food Safety Rule Number One: if you find takeout Chinese food in the back of the fridge that's so old you can't even remember ordering it, don't eat it...

Or view the entire episode as originally broadcast...

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