Someone Pass The Maalox (8/22/01)
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It figures that we'd have to learn the hard way. Food Safety Rule Number One: if you find takeout Chinese food in the back of the fridge that's so old you can't even remember ordering it, don't eat it. Food Safety Rule Number Two: if you ignore Food Safety Rule Number One and, halfway through the meal, you realize that said Chinese food is actually takeout Mexican food that has undergone a wondrous and vile transmogrification over the course of relative fridge eons, stop eating immediately and seek medical attention. Corollary to Food Safety Rules One and Two: if you survive the event, get ready for some seriously messed up dreams.

Suffice it to say that the AtAT staff was visited by some rather wild visions in the night, and given our uncanny tendency to dream accurate premonitions of future PowerBook events, we figured we'd pass this info on to you, sans any sort of guarantee or explanation. We saw a long, rickety rope bridge stretching across a yawning chasm; on the near side was Today, and on the far side was Saturday. Dozens of PowerBook G4s flew through the air over the bridge like giant titanium butterflies. Prospective PowerBook customers started to cross the bridge, one by one. Those who grabbed a PowerBook before reaching the other side found that the extra 5.3 pounds sent them hurtling into the Lake of Debt beneath. The ones who waited until crossing the bridge to Saturday plucked PowerBooks from the air and survived with their credit reports unscathed.

What does it all mean, you ask? We can't really say, other than to suggest that if you were about to rush out and buy a PowerBook today or tomorrow, your bank account just might be happier if you were to wait a couple of days longer... unless you're an education customer, that is, in which case, what are you waiting for? The price drops as reported at Go2Mac are too good to pass up! Otherwise, something tells us that those tax relief checks are going to look like small potatoes to regular customers delaying their PowerBook purchases for another forty-eight hours or so. Call it a gut feeling-- and after having eaten that leftover takeout, trust us-- we know all about "gut feelings."


 
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The above scene was taken from the 8/22/01 episode:

August 22, 2001: Motorola backpedals slightly and announces that if its chip business doesn't pick up, it's bye-bye semiconductors. Meanwhile, Apple beats us to an Emmy (which it's winning for creating FireWire), and our fevered dreams suggest that non-education customers might want to wait a couple of days before buying a new PowerBook...

Other scenes from that episode:

  • 3257: Get Profitable Or Get Sold (8/22/01)   We all know that Motorola has been "troubled" for the past year or so, what with the thousands of layoffs, the plant closings, its first quarterly loss in years, and the sale of hundreds of lower-echelon employees to human toxicity testing labs and pet food companies in order to raise some quick cash...

  • 3258: I'd Like To Thank My Agent... (8/22/01)   Okay, this is getting ridiculous. It's bad enough that Buffy couldn't score an Emmy nomination for "The Body," which was easily one of the most powerful hours of television ever to hit us in the chest like an emotional freight train...

Or view the entire episode as originally broadcast...

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