We look at it like this: Apple isn't stupid. Steve wouldn't allow Apple's own home page to promise an Expo that will leave us all "blown away" unless he was 100% sure that his company could deliver. The only circumstance we can imagine in which the company would hype next week's Expo to the stars-- especially given the soul-crushing letdown of last summer's show, not to mention the backlash after the "breakthrough iPod" fiasco-- is if it's dead certain that Steve is going to have the crowd weeping tears of unparalleled joy. (We're almost glad we can't be there in person; sounds like things might get a little soggy and hard to light.)

As for this "way beyond the rumors sites" hoo-haa, well, to us that means exactly one thing: Apple's got a brand new product ready to unleash that has so far totally escaped public detection. We know that sounds pretty unlikely, but don't forget, Apple has pulled it off before; nobody saw the iMac coming, either. Which means that whatever it is that's got Steve giggling in anticipation of seeing a sea of dumbstruck faces on Monday when he wheels it out, it's probably not the LCD iMac we've all been waiting for. Why? Well, precisely because we have been waiting for it.

So does that mean we won't be getting a new iMac next week after all? Au contraire; all signs point to yes. Between all the iMac promotions just wrapping up, the fact that the Apple Store suddenly lists a 7-day wait for all iMacs, and reports surfacing here and there about the iMac coming up as "End of Life" in Apple's own products database, of course we're going to see a new iMac next week. And we bet it'll be plenty spiffy. However, we just get the distinct feeling that the new iMac, however incredible it may be, is not what has Apple acting so cocky just five days before the Big Event. There's Something Else. There's One More Thing™. And apparently it's something that's going to knock our proverbial socks off, right through our shoes.

Then again, perhaps it's time for a brief perspective break. It may be worth keeping in mind that Steve also called Dean Kamen's much-ballyhooed top secret "Ginger" device "as significant as the personal computer" and predicted that the human race will one day "architect cities around it"-- whereas, once it was finally unveiled, most of us just said, "Hey, look, it's a really expensive scooter" and went back to watching "Welcome Back, Kotter" reruns. So remember, Steve sometimes gets more excited about things than the rest of us, so be prepared-- and if, against all odds, Monday's announcements are somehow less than enthralling, maybe Mr. Woodman will let you get close enough to Steve to shout "up your nose with a rubber hose!"