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The Jeers Of A Klown (1/11/02)
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Finally, what better way to draw the curtain down on a hectic Expo week and kick off the weekend than with baffling tales of obscenity-muttering, corset-wearing Killer iKlowns from Outer Moscone? Faithful viewer j.e. gibson kindly forwarded us a Salon article that details what happens when dotcom casualties have too much time-- and makeup-- on their hands: basically, they band together, dress up like clowns, and try to get into Macworld Expo armed with helium balloons and megaphones, with the intention of harassing showgoers in hopes of being given jobs. (Maybe it's just us, but we think we might detect a teensy little flaw in this plan.)
Sadly, the five iKlowns were initially refused admittance by security on the grounds that they were "branding without a booth." See, those balloons had an iKlown logo on them, so it doesn't matter that "Evil Klown Industries LLC" isn't a real company: "no booth, no circus." (Hmmm, sounds like we're going to have to sneak the AtAT t-shirts onto the show floor in July.) We presume that this policy originates from the Expo's organizers, IDG, and not from Apple-- although we imagine it's possible that, due to some childhood trauma involving a birthday party clown and an agitated rent-a-pony, Steve Jobs has a lingering phobia and tried to keep the iKlowns at bay.
If so, he wasn't entirely successful, as the self-described "porn clowns" eventually got in (sans balloons) and proceeded in their mission to freak out the squares. There were no major disturbances, as far as we can tell (at least, nothing that made the national news), but the iKlowns did get to inflict emotional scars on the multitudinous throngs by passing out promotional buttons while asking showgoers, "Are you afraid of clowns?" and "Do you have 1,000 clowns in your iPod?" No harm done (except someseriously freaky nightmares, we're guessing), and everyone got to live happily ever after. The end.
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And Now For A Word From Our Sponsors |
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 | | The above scene was taken from the 1/11/02 episode: January 11, 2002: The gloves are off, and Apple looks ready to tackle Microsoft head-on in its new marketing push. Meanwhile, Epson Sweden lets slip a little mention of the G5, and the Expo gets invaded by "porn clowns" looking for jobs...
Other scenes from that episode: 3500: Finally Telling It Like It Is (1/11/02) Is it just us, or is Apple getting a little... bolder about taking on Microsoft in public these days? Way back in '97, Steve Jobs stood up in front of a Macworld Expo audience and declared the OS wars were over, announced that Microsoft and Apple were now bestest buddies, and then introduced Bill Gates's Big Giant Head live via satellite to tell the mostly-horrified crowd that Microsoft had just purchased $150 million of non-voting AAPL stock and assured us all that everything would be just fine... 3501: Raise Hopes At Own Risk (1/11/02) Faithful viewer Jack (presumably some other non-AtAT-affiliated Jack, or else we're in serious trouble) wrote in wanting to know "where all the G5 rumors got to." Well, Jack, while we'd suggest that anyone who honestly expected Apple to unveil Power Mac G5s running at 2.4 GHz last Monday should maybe look into getting their skepticism tanks refilled, semi-credible G5 rumors are still alive and well...
Or view the entire episode as originally broadcast... | |  |
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