Fatal Snub, Bloody Death (1/18/02)

Before you go chewing your own arm off about how outdated the current Power Mac is-- how tired its measly 867 MHz processor looks, how out-of-fashion its 133 MHz bus and PC-133 RAM are-- consider this: CNET just placed the Power Mac G4 at the top of its list of the very best "leading-edge" personal computers available. Yes, the very same CNET that you're so sure is choking down bribes from Redmond to keep its anti-Mac prejudice clearly in the foreground apparently feels that the 867 MHz Quicksilver "pushes the limits of desktop technology with the latest advances in processors, storage, video, and audio" even better than any "extreme" Wintel on the market. So don't go dissing the Power Mac just yet, bub; this puppy's still got legs.

Well, either that, or CNET's just heaping praise on whatever Apple product is at hand in hopes of staving off a massive slash-and-burn raid on their corporate headquarters led by a steamed Steve and his merry band of swashbuckling ne'er-do-wells. Steve, you see, has reason to be slightly irked at CNET; those folks recently posted what they're calling the "Vision Series," profiles of the thirteen "top chief executives in high technology." Heck, they've even gone ahead and started rating them on a cutesy little report card. There's just one little problem. You guessed it: Steve Jobs is nowhere to be found. Stiffed again!

This is a particularly insulting snub, because CNET's report card grades each exec in Leadership, Vision, Execution, and Star Power. Is there anyone in the viewing audience who doesn't think that Steve should score an "A" or higher in, at the very least, three out of four of those categories? Especially since Steve Ballmer pulled in an A- for Star Power. Evidently CNET isn't equating "Star Power" with "charisma." Either that, or they've got a freaky thing for howler-monkey-style screeching, pro wrestler antics, and sweat stains where no sweat stains should ever be found. Even worse, Mike Dell is on the list. And Steve's not? Oooo, that's gotta hurt. Steve's going to be out for blood. CNET blood.

Hence, the declaration of the Quicksilver as the extremest of extreme PCs, perhaps? We don't know, but if that was the strategy, we doubt Steve will be appeased by such a paltry offering. It'll be interesting to see how CNET's editorial slant changes once the remains of the current staff need to be replaced after they're identified solely via the painstaking use of dental records...

SceneLink (3516)
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From the writer/creator of AtAT, a Pandemic Dad Joke taken WAYYYYYY too far


The above scene was taken from the 1/18/02 episode:

January 18, 2002: Word has it that the new Power Macs are coming next week-- but the specs may leave you a little less than satisfied. Meanwhile, CNET praises the Power Mac even as it snubs Apple's fearless leader in an unforgivable fashion, and Apple's export compliance table indicates that "Framistan" is finally ready to ship...

Other scenes from that episode:

  • 3515: Gigahertz By Baby Steps (1/18/02)   Oooo, this is going to stick in a few craws. We know that, despite our last-minute warnings not to get your hopes up, several AtAT viewers still expected new Power Macs to appear at the Expo last week...

  • 3517: The Forefront Of High Tech (1/18/02)   While Apple may be having a smidge of trouble putting some serious power back in the PowerPC (and actually, we have a sneaking suspicion that Motorola might share just a teensy bit of responsibility for that as well), at least the company is fully up to date when it comes to Framistan technology...

Or view the entire episode as originally broadcast...

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