The Forefront Of High Tech (1/18/02)
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While Apple may be having a smidge of trouble putting some serious power back in the PowerPC (and actually, we have a sneaking suspicion that Motorola might share just a teensy bit of responsibility for that as well), at least the company is fully up to date when it comes to Framistan technology. Indeed, faithful viewer Glen Fisher pointed out that, according to Apple's Export Compliance Information, the company's Framistan product is apparently done and ready to go; it's got its Export Control Classification Number, it's classified for shipment under the same categories as iMovie and iDVD, and denizens of any country that isn't Cuba, Iraq, North Korea, or any other nation officially designated as "Potentially Very Naughty" can soon be Framistaning to their hearts' content.

As longtime viewers are no doubt aware, the Mac rumor mill has been anticipating Framistan for years, now, speculating that it could well be the "killer app" that finally draws thousands of Windows users to our platform-- Windows users desperate to share in the real time thingule-reflanging protocols that only Framistan-enabled Mac users now enjoy. The Gartner Group estimates that Apple's market share may in fact double within the first three years of Framistan's availability, provided that extended production yields of Taiwanese phonolectorite wafers are able to meet rabid consumer demand.

In related news, Microsoft today announced that it's almost ready to debut Microsoft Whoozis 2002, but denies that its own quasi-flangulatory Gomerization is in any way a cheap, sleazy rip-off of Apple's revolutionary Framistan modules. We beg to differ, but even if Apple refuses to go to court over the look and feel of its patented feckulating interface, the reviewers have already decided that Whoozis probably won't come near the ease-of-use and feature set of Framistan until version 4.0. So uncap those fulvulent whatchamacallits, warm up your follimators, and get ready to countervectorize your configulators-- Framistan is here to stay!

(In other words, no, we don't know what it is, either.)


 
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From the writer/creator of AtAT, a Pandemic Dad Joke taken WAYYYYYY too far


 

The above scene was taken from the 1/18/02 episode:

January 18, 2002: Word has it that the new Power Macs are coming next week-- but the specs may leave you a little less than satisfied. Meanwhile, CNET praises the Power Mac even as it snubs Apple's fearless leader in an unforgivable fashion, and Apple's export compliance table indicates that "Framistan" is finally ready to ship...

Other scenes from that episode:

  • 3515: Gigahertz By Baby Steps (1/18/02)   Oooo, this is going to stick in a few craws. We know that, despite our last-minute warnings not to get your hopes up, several AtAT viewers still expected new Power Macs to appear at the Expo last week...

  • 3516: Fatal Snub, Bloody Death (1/18/02)   Before you go chewing your own arm off about how outdated the current Power Mac is-- how tired its measly 867 MHz processor looks, how out-of-fashion its 133 MHz bus and PC-133 RAM are-- consider this: CNET just placed the Power Mac G4 at the top of its list of the very best "leading-edge" personal computers available...

Or view the entire episode as originally broadcast...

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