iPod Drama For Beginners (1/22/02)
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So far, the iPod looks like another success story for Apple-- a couple of weeks ago Uncle Steve revealed that 125,000 of the little suckers were sold in the product's first two months of availability, which breaks down to something like two thousand iPods sold every day; even the staunchest naysayers must be having a little trouble saying nay to numbers like that. And the iPod naturally wins converts; we, ourselves, made a steady progression from being "underwhelmed" to "sorta whelmed" to just flat-out drooling on our shoes. So, three months in, this is looking like a story with a happy ending.

There's just one little problem with that, from our perspective: happy endings can be really, really boring. Everyone knows that conflict is what keeps life interesting-- which is why, purely from a soap opera production angle, we're most grateful that Think Secret is spreading rumors about high drama between Apple and Pixo, the company that makes the iPod's operating system. "Sources" claim that Apple would have been really late to market with the iPod had Pixo not stepped in at the last minute with its handheld OS, which allowed Apple to foist those 125,000 iPods upon frenzied holiday shoppers over the course of the past few months. Had Pixo not stepped up to the plate, Apple would likely have released the product at a far thriftier and more rational point on the spending calendar... which would probably have meant a royal disappointment when the initial sales numbers surfaced.

So far, so good; Apple's iPod is a smash success, Pixo saves the day-- and we're right back to square one on the happy ending front. But this is where things start to get juicy: those same "sources" also claim that Pixo is actually a little miffed with Apple, financially speaking. Whereas those holiday iPod sales represented nearly $50 million in Apple revenue, Pixo execs are "less than happy" with what Apple paid for its OS license. And in light of Pixo's alleged money troubles, changing business models, and recent layoffs, the thought that the company might have had a bigger piece of the iPod pie must really rankle-- particularly because many of Pixo's employees apparently used to work for Apple, so there's clearly some history contributing to the mix, there.

If you really want a bit of drama iPod-style, throw in a little baseless fear that Pixo might 1) tank or 2) get really spiteful over the money thing, thus stranding the iPod without a means for OS updates and bug fixes, and you're in business! The lesson, here, kids, is that drama is everywhere if you're willing to dig a little to find it. It also helps if you're capable of believing everything the "sources" say. You've heard the slogan: "you don't have to be really credulous to work here, but it sure helps." Enjoy!

 
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From the writer/creator of AtAT, a Pandemic Dad Joke taken WAYYYYYY too far

 

The above scene was taken from the 1/22/02 episode:

January 22, 2002: Apple's appeal is decidedly different than that of other computer manufacturers; alert the media. Meanwhile, rumors of friction in iPodville start to circulate, and word on the street is that free water at the Apple retail stores may soon be a thing of the past...

Other scenes from that episode:

  • 3518: Fun With Demographics (1/22/02)   Okay, so we finally scraped together enough free time to drive an hour through the snow to go check out the new iMac up close this long weekend, and we're happy to say that it looks a heckuva lot neater in person than it did on Time's cover a couple of weeks ago...

  • 3520: Geniusing Is Thirsty Work (1/22/02)   Short work weeks (especially the Mondayless kind) are supposed to be generally happy occasions, which is why we were a little hesitant to kick this one off with terrifying, catastrophic news straight from the bowels of deepest human despair-- but heck, you folks can handle it, right?...

Or view the entire episode as originally broadcast...

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