Unconfirmed it may be, but that doesn't make it any less terrifying: faithful viewer Perplexed in Pomona tells us of a rumor at SF Gate that's sure to have you clenching things that, in mixed company, you probably otherwise wouldn't. Basically, it goes like this: somebody working on an upcoming Pixar documentary claims to have snuck a peek at the CEO's desk, and let's just say that His Steveness isn't racking up any style points in Emeryville for his alleged choice of silicon accoutrements. To put it bluntly, the confounder and savior of Apple reportedly has a decidedly non-Mac personal computer on his desk.

Granted, Pixar ain't Apple; indeed, last May (as in, after the release of the UNIX-based Mac OS X) word got out that Pixar was migrating to Linux workstations-- from what, we're not entirely sure, but you can bet that they sure weren't Macs. And while we've always admired Steve's ability to keep his roles at Apple and Pixar separate and distinct (not counting little things like bundling A Bug's Life DVDs with iMacs and launching the original "Think different" commercial during the broadcast television premiere of Toy Story), somehow we'd always hoped that he'd at least draw the line at sticking a Wintel box on his own desk.

Actually, "Wintel" is presumably the wrong term altogether, since we personally refuse to accept the possibility that Steve Jobs-- even in a strictly Pixarian capacity-- would be able to suppress his natural sense of taste to a degree necessary to use Windows voluntarily on a regular basis. We're forced to assume that if the rumor is true, Steve's running either Linux or an ancient copy of NextStep (as he used to run on an x86 laptop for much of his second tenure at Apple's helm, prior to Mac OS X's release). If he is using Windows, we're not sure whether to be awed by his mental flexibility and strong stomach or just totally grossed out by the whole concept. To us, at least, the only thing worse than using Windows ourselves is the thought of Steve using Windows. It's like a crime against all that is fundamentally good and right in the universe.

The worst is yet to come, however; care to take a guess at whose logo graces the front of Steve's alleged x86 system? Here's a hint: it rhymes with "hell," and for good reason. That's right, kiddies; word has it that the lump of plastic and silicon on Steve's desk at Pixar was made by none other than Dell. We should stress once again that this rumor was passed along as "unconfirmed," but nevertheless, while most of us are struggling to keep our lunches down, we can think of one CEO with a Steve complex who's probably weeping tears of joy at the mere mention of the possibility. Hey, as long as someone's happy, right?