Regular viewers are no doubt aware that sometimes we have to make our own fun around here; occasionally reality deals us a serious dearth of that sweet, life-giving drama that we all need to survive and thrive, so we're forced to manufacture it where none exists. Such is the sordid life of a drama addict, extracting whatever miserable scraps of controversy and excitement we can mine from tidbits we find floating through the ether and artificially inflating them to a level capable of sustaining our voracious habits. (We've considered rehab, but it's pretty expensive, and we hear the Betty Ford Center doesn't have TiVo. What's up with that?)

Every once in a while, though, reality throws us a bone. Sometimes we stumble upon a true story so chock-full of drama and excitement that absolutely no embellishment is necessary to sate our massive appetites. So Steve bless faithful viewer scubus for kicking us one such story documented in epistolary form over at MacScripter. Check it out; it's a series of posts culled from UseNet that details how one Mac user, with the help of fellow scripters across the globe, managed to use AppleScript and Timbuktu Pro remote control software to recover a poor, hapless iMac that was stolen in a burglary. Thrills! Spills! Scary code that deletes files with reckless abandon! What more could a drama field ever want?

While we strongly recommend reading through the whole unabridged story for maximum dramatic impact (eat your heart out, Tom Clancy!), here's the Reader's Digest version: the thieves were unaware that the plundered iMac was running Timbuktu, which registered itself with a centralized server whenever it was connected to the Internet, allowing the rightful owner's brother to locate it virtually and upload AppleScript files that destroyed the sensitive personal data stored on the hard drive. Better still, eventually the cybersleuth was able to replace the iMac's AOL prefs in such a way that whenever the miscreant attempted to dial in, the iMac would actually call the original owner's phone-- which had Caller ID.

Once the police were armed with the unlisted number from where the calls were originating, they were able to recover the stolen iMac and printer and return them to their rightful owner. The, ahem, "temporary custodian" of said burgled goods "pled out to possession of stolen property and got a year's probation." Snif... Don't you just love happy endings?