Oh, as usual, dear. And here we thought we'd unlocked the mysteries of existence a couple of months ago when a couple of scientists managed to work out that the color of the universe bears a striking resemblance to the original iMac's Bondi Blue; heck, we even cobbled together a nice little religious cult based on Apple's apparent connection to the secrets of the cosmos. Nothing big, you understand; a few dozen of us would meet every Saturday dressed in loose cotton clothes, kneel before our sacred rev. A, spiritually bathe in its Color Divine, and attempt gestalt telepathic communication with Leader Jobs in hopes that he would spare us in the upcoming apocalypse. Then we'd have a pot luck lunch.

Imagine our chagrin, then, to be told by faithful viewer Jason Margretz that the whole premise of our new belief system is bunk. According to an article in New Scientist, while their scientific methodology itself was sound, Baldry and Glazebrook kinda sorta screwed up completely when they converted the universe's average energy wavelength into an actual color-- the software they used "took a slightly pinky looking color as white." In other words, if white isn't white but pink is white, well, the results are going to come out just slightly askew. Geez, those science guys... no fashion sense at all. ColorSync, anyone?

The big question, of course, is this: now that the mistake has been rectified, what color is the universe really? Well, brace yourselves, because the answer is tremendously unpleasant; it turns out that the white point error had caused a "huge green shift," so, far from being reminiscent of the original iMac's hue, the real color of the universe is actually, well, sort of... beige. Yes, beige. Man. It's enough to make one warm up the suicide machine, isn't it? But if, as a Mac user, you've always felt that you just never fit in and the entire universe was somehow cosmically working against you, well, at least now you know why.

So does this mean our little cult is now going to start worshipping Mike Dell instead? Yeah, right-- get a grip. It's hard enough getting three dozen Mac users to "think same" enough to worship something cool, so we doubt any of them would kneel before a beige box in this day and age without a gun to their heads. No, we'll probably just disband the group, secure in the spiritually terrifying knowledge that the whole cosmos is fundamentally out to get us. It's no biggie. We'll miss the pot lucks, though.