As our regular viewers are all too painfully aware, Steve Jobs is a cast regular here at AtAT, making daily mercurial appearances and hogging screen time at every turn like the quintessential showman he is. But twenty-six years ago, Apple started out as the story of two Steves cranking out the first personal computer in a garage-- yet His Wozness opts only for the rare occasional AtAT guest appearance. What's up with that? Is it just his naturally quiet demeanor, or what? Perhaps you think Woz just prefers the quiet life out of the public eye, or maybe that he's a little camera shy. Uh-huh. See, that's just what they want you to think. But today, AtAT unearths the real reason why Woz isn't overly fond of sharing a stage with "The Other Steve" and his Apple cohorts.

We can't take credit for uncovering the truth; all the sleuthing was actually done by faithful viewer Kevin Gurney, who then dutifully reported the dirt to us so that we could spread it far and wide. Here's how to see for yourself why Woz is on secretly chilly terms with the rest of Apple: first, take a peek at the State of California's "Unclaimed Property" site. You'll notice there's a search form; enter "Wozniak" for Last Name, "Steve" for First Name, and "Los Gatos" for City (where Woz has hung his hat for the past couple of decades). Click "Search," and then click "Claim" next to the single returned listing. Well, whaddaya know? Apple apparently owes the Woz some money-- $5.61, to be exact.

Now, some of you probably feel that a debt of $5.61 is a paltry sum that's far too insignificant to be ruffling Woz's feathers, but it's the little things that really get under people's skin. Besides, as any U.S. dweller with a TV and a pulse has had drilled into their skulls repeatedly by entertainment has-beens desperate for work, with 10-10-220, all calls up to twenty minutes are just 99 cents-- meaning that Woz is missing out on well over an hour and a half's worth of quality long-distance telephone service because Apple is sitting on that fiver and change. Surely that's enough to burn anyone's behind... even someone as famously patient and easygoing as the Woz.

For what it's worth, it looks to us like Apple has tried to return Woz's cash, but the man hasn't returned their calls, so Apple has dutifully reported the "unclaimed property" to the state. All we can hope for is that Woz takes notice of Apple's good faith effort to return his lunch money so that we can all put this nasty feud behind us and get on with our lives. Howzaboutit, Woz? C'mon, take your money back and let bygones be bygones. We like Jobs and all, but a little goes a long way, and if we don't start giving some screen time to other cast members, our heads are going to explode.