Tuesday (Expo, Shmexpo) (4/24/02)
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Heads up, folks, because it's really starting to look like maybe there's something to the PowerBook rumors we mentioned yesterday after all. Provided you're a regular viewer and you aren't the guy from Memento, you probably recall that a sudden alleged return of hundreds of unsold wholesale TiBooks to Apple sparked off some speculation that new PowerBook models are due for imminent release, most likely at the Worldwide Developers Conference in a week and a half. That's rather at odds with the "SuperDrive PowerBooks at Expo" vibe we've been feeling for the past several weeks, but heck, who are we to argue if it means we might get new hardware two months sooner?

Well, here's the bad news: based on a few sketchy reports flitting hither and thither across the ether, the two-months-early WWDC intro date seems incorrect after all. But the good news is that the Magic Date now appears to be April 30th, otherwise known as this coming Tuesday. So now we might get new gear a week earlier than two months sooner? Maybe, Sparky-- maybe. All we know is that we've got a really strong feeling that something's coming this Tuesday, but unfortunately we lack the psychic ability to discern whether it's a new PowerBook, a 20 GB iPod, or something slightly more catastrophic-- like maybe a moon-sized meteor colliding with our planet and wiping out all life on earth, or Carrot Top making an unscheduled guest appearance on Letterman. But as faithful viewer Tuner Equalizer reports, the PowerPage claims to have "confirmed" that on Tuesday the PowerBooks will indeed get bumped to 667 MHz and 800 MHz-- and that the prices of the new models will also creep up by $200 apiece. (Allegedly that extra couple of hundred clams will get you a dramatic boost in graphics performance, too, thanks to some spiffy new video circuitry, so it might be a justifiable price hike if it does indeed come to pass.)

What we haven't seen anywhere is any mention that these alleged Tuesday PowerBooks will pack those long-fabled slot-loading SuperDrives that has all the road warriors panting in anticipation. So we're inclined to believe that if this Tuesday intro does turn out to be new PowerBooks, we'll be looking at strictly a speed-bump affair-- faster processors and maybe new video chips, but no SuperDrives or other major improvements until summer. But that's just our best guess based on the Farmer's Almanac and the current state of the tides, so don't hold us to it, or anything.


 
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From the writer/creator of AtAT, a Pandemic Dad Joke taken WAYYYYYY too far


 

The above scene was taken from the 4/24/02 episode:

April 24, 2002: Apple actually had the gall to hold its annual shareholders' meeting without us. Meanwhile, more rumors swirl about speed-bumped PowerBooks possibly materializing this coming Tuesday, and some absolute monster reportedly broke into an Apple retail store and swiped a whole boatload of easy-to-carry gear...

Other scenes from that episode:

  • 3707: Never Marked The Calendar (4/24/02)   Wait a minute, it's not the 24th already, is it? Aw, man-- we just totally spaced on the Apple shareholders' meeting! This was finally going to be the year when we hitchhiked cross-country taking the scenic route, meandering along the highways and byways of this great land, immersing ourselves in the true American experience, bonding spiritually with the people, and broadening our horizons...

  • 3709: Throw The 'Book At Them! (4/24/02)   Is nothing sacred anymore? Forgive us if we're mired in a funk, but our faith in humanity's a little shaken today, because we just heard about the shameful desecration of a holy place. We can't reveal specifics because we don't want to instill widespread panic or cause outbreaks of indiscriminate vigilante sack-beatings as outraged individuals take to the streets to find and punish the culprits by any means necessary, but we feel that the public has a right to know at least the broad strokes of this despicable act so that they can be alert and take preventive measures...

Or view the entire episode as originally broadcast...

Vote Early, Vote Often!
Why did you tune in to this '90s relic of a soap opera?
Nostalgia is the next best thing to feeling alive
My name is Rip Van Winkle and I just woke up; what did I miss?
I'm trying to pretend the last 20 years never happened
I mean, if it worked for Friends, why not?
I came here looking for a receptacle in which to place the cremated remains of my deceased Java applets (think about it)

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