Is nothing sacred anymore? Forgive us if we're mired in a funk, but our faith in humanity's a little shaken today, because we just heard about the shameful desecration of a holy place. We can't reveal specifics because we don't want to instill widespread panic or cause outbreaks of indiscriminate vigilante sack-beatings as outraged individuals take to the streets to find and punish the culprits by any means necessary, but we feel that the public has a right to know at least the broad strokes of this despicable act so that they can be alert and take preventive measures. A little extra vigilance might help ensure that your own communities aren't struck by such a hateful act. What we're getting at is this: some scoundrels recently broke into one of the Apple retail stores. (Boooo! Hiss!)

It's true, folks-- at least, according to an anonymous source allegedly connected with the local police department in the afflicted community. Apparently somebody with absolutely no sense of reverence whatsoever smashed in one of those giant display windows late one night, ran in, grabbed a slew of portables and expensive third party "digital hub" gizmos, and then hoofed it before The Steve had a chance to strike them down with a bolt of retaliatory lightning hurled all the way from Palo Alto. Looks like someone was looking to amass a huge pile of bad karma in a real hurry. Theft and vandalism in an Apple retail store? We can only assume that the perpetrator was somehow ignorant of the sanctity of the Retail Paradise that represents Mac shopping nirvana to legions upon legions of the faithful. Sheesh, what do you suppose the perp (or perps) did for an encore? We're thinking it must have involved setting fire to puppies, or something like that.

We haven't received word on whether or not the authorities have any leads in the case (for all we know, they've already nabbed the sick deviants), but we urge all AtAT viewers who live within fifty miles of an Apple retail store to keep an eye out for suspicious characters. For example, a guy on the street who approaches you furtively and asks if you'd care to buy a couple of PowerBooks and maybe a shiny new PDA at a low, low price because all the serial numbers were accidentally filed off in a freak manicure accident? That guy qualifies as "suspicious." Alert the authorities.

If you're even more fired up to help, consider organizing a local Apple Retail Defense Corps, in which you all take turns patrolling and guarding the perimeter of your local Apple boutique outside of regular business hours. Sure, it's a fairly hefty time commitment and a significant personal sacrifice on your part, but hey, the retail paradise you save may be your own.