Pardon our French, here, but holy crap! Or should that be "le crap sacré"? Whatever. Regardless of which vaguely offensive interjection we choose and in what language it's butchered, our intent is simply to convey a sense of utter shock and paralyzing disbelief that Apple is finally going for the competition's throat with a knock-down, drag-out, no-holds-barred marketing campaign that is obviously and unapologetically designed to swipe new Mac customers from the ranks of the Wintel hordes. As faithful viewer Cbee was first to point out, Apple's new "Real People" ad campaign features, well, real people-- talking about why they kicked their Windows systems to the curb and went all Mac-happy instead. An official Apple press release calls it the company's "largest ad campaign since 'Think Different'" and states that the first "Real People" TV spots premiered yesterday on a handful of cable networks. (Amazingly enough, despite our massive daily television infusions, the AtAT staff didn't spot one all day, but there's a better-than-slim chance we've got one kicking around in the TiVo. In the meantime, thank heaven for QuickTime.)

So if you were still wondering just what Apple was up to when it solicited feedback from ex- and soon-to-be-ex-Windows users with its "Hey PC users, we'd love to hear from you" web links last March, wonder no more; eight of the people who shared their tales of Mac migration with Apple are now sharing them with the rest of the world, too, in thirty-second bursts of televisual Wintel smackdown straight from the mouths of not just writers and DJs, but also programmers and Windows LAN administrators. Those of you who always thought it'd be a red letter day when Apple dared to use the phrase "Blue Screen of Death" in a TV commercial, it's time to take a red Sharpie to the ol' Word of the Day calendar, 'cause the time is finally upon us. Excited? You're darn skippy we're excited; this is the ad campaign we've been waiting for since dinosaurs roamed the earth. Or at least since beige was still cool.

Better still, this apparently goes way beyond being just a simple ad campaign: it qualifies as a "major strategic push." How do we know? Because faithful viewer Paul R. Ferro (who spotted one of the new ads on the Discovery Channel, thus independently confirming that the commercials are indeed out there doing their thing and it's not all just a cruel gag thrown together by Apple's PR department) noticed that not only is the "Real People" spiel the mondo focus of Apple's home page, but it's also got its own tab in the navigation header. Take a gander if you don't believe us; there it is, "Switch," right between "Store" and "iTools." "Switch" shares top billing right alongside such heavy hitters as "Support" and "Mac OS X." Click the link and you'll find dozens of subpages targeted at fed-up Wintel users, including testimonials from people who have already made the jump, frequently asked questions allaying their fears about the problems of migration, and details on how they can transfer their files and email to their shiny new Macs once they take the plunge. Clearly this is a big priority, and Apple's thirst for Wintel switchers has jumped a few dozen notches on the Unquenchable-o-meter.

Ooooh, we're just all tingly. Great things are afoot. It'll be interesting to see how this "Convert the Heathens" initiative plays out in the retail stores, which CNET reports may soon be homes to actual honest-to-goodness Wintel boxes just to show potential switchers just how much better Macs are by comparison. Stevenote-style bake-offs, anyone? Sure, the presence of a few PCs may well disrupt the otherwise clean lines of the Apple retail experience, but hey, a little bad feng shui is a small price to pay for bringing a few more Windoids over to the One True Faith. And isn't it nice to see Apple pitching Macs to the other side for a change, instead of leaving it up to us unpaid wild-eyed zealots all the time?