It Also Dices And Juliennes (10/4/02)
SceneLink
 

Speaking of the iPod and unrepentant copyright violation, we just have to kick off your weekend by sharing some absolutely amazing news we discovered by way of the Portsmouth Herald: in an article on peer-to-peer file sharing and its widespread use as a means to pirate digital music and movie content, the paper features a big ol' photo of a hand holding an iPod, and the caption is "Apple's iPod is just one of the many ways to download music from the Internet."

Wow, talk about your amazing Easter eggs! The hidden Breakout game was one thing, but who knew that the iPod actually contains the hardware and software necessary to download digital music directly from the Internet? Clearly Apple's brilliant designers and engineers are woefully underpaid, because this latest revelation about the iPod just proves that they're all even more unbelievably talented than we ever imagined. Unfortunately, we're not provided with any details on how to unlock this mysterious and undocumented capability; in fact, the article itself never mentions the iPod or Apple at all. The only thing we get is that photo and the accusatory yet incredibly revealing caption. Perplexing, no?

Of course, that didn't stop us, your friendly neighborhood AtAT staff, from immediately snatching up our iPods and spending hour upon hour trying various button, dial, and menu combinations in hopes of uncovering the hidden Gnutella client and PPP dialer to which the Herald indirectly refers. So far no luck, but we did discover that up-up-down-down-left-right-left-right on the Equalizer screen is the fatality move for Sub-Zero. (If you're not seeing it, you're just not doing it right. Try it, um... faster. Yeah, that's it.)

We also admit to being somewhat stumped on how to physically connect these things to the Internet. Should we try to wedge an RJ-11 phone cord from the wall jack into the iPod's FireWire port, or just force the iPod's FireWire cable into the wall jack, probably with a hammer or something? Either way, we're sure we'll figure it all out eventually, and then whoa Nelly-- look out, RIAA, because our iPods will be illegal peer-to-peer music-downloading machines! Honest. The Herald says so.


 
SceneLink (3767)
And Now For A Word From Our Sponsors
 

From the writer/creator of AtAT, a Pandemic Dad Joke taken WAYYYYYY too far


 

The above scene was taken from the 10/4/02 episode:

October 4, 2002: Just days after Larry Ellison quit Apple's board, Steve Jobs has given up his role as a director for Gap Inc. Meanwhile, if you're in the market for business-class high-speed Internet access, you can snag a free iPod in the process, and word has it that the iPod can actually be used to download music from the Internet!...

Other scenes from that episode:

  • 3765: Uncle Steve Goes Gapless (10/4/02)   Everybody do the Boardroom Shuffle! Man, here we always thought that in corporate America the role of any board of directors worth its salt was to hibernate 98% of the time and then emerge from their holes every couple of months, meet in a room with a really big and expensive table, and then fight over who gets the last jelly donut...

  • 3766: Free iPod: The Geeks' Turn (10/4/02)   Longtime viewers will recall that it's something of a tradition 'round these parts for AtAT to tip our audience off to the various ways in which they might acquire a free iPod now and again. For instance, back in February we suggested that you sing at the Grammys, since performers at that sedate and dignified ceremony reportedly received iPod-laden goodie bags in return for shakin' their groove thangs onstage...

Or view the entire episode as originally broadcast...

Vote Early, Vote Often!
Why did you tune in to this '90s relic of a soap opera?
Nostalgia is the next best thing to feeling alive
My name is Rip Van Winkle and I just woke up; what did I miss?
I'm trying to pretend the last 20 years never happened
I mean, if it worked for Friends, why not?
I came here looking for a receptacle in which to place the cremated remains of my deceased Java applets (think about it)

(878 votes)

Like K-pop, but only know the popular stuff? Expand your horizons! Prim M recommends underrated K-pop tunes based on YOUR taste!

Prim M's Playlist

DISCLAIMER: AtAT was not a news site any more than Inside Edition was a "real" news show. We made Dawson's Creek look like 60 Minutes. We engaged in rampant guesswork, wild speculation, and pure fabrication for the entertainment of our viewers. Sure, everything here was "inspired by actual events," but so was Amityville II: The Possession. So lighten up.

Site best viewed with a sense of humor. AtAT is not responsible for lost or stolen articles. Keep hands inside car at all times. The drinking of beverages while watching AtAT is strongly discouraged; AtAT is not responsible for damage, discomfort, or staining caused by spit-takes or "nosers."

Everything you see here that isn't attributed to other parties is copyright ©,1997-2023 J. Miller and may not be reproduced or rebroadcast without his explicit consent (or possibly the express written consent of Major League Baseball, but we doubt it).