Can't Pin It On Us, Copper (10/23/02)
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File this scene in the "Preemptive Quickie Denial" category. Faithful viewer Peter Chastain forwarded us a Wired article about a poor woman whose car was broken into by some malfeasant who took nothing but a shoulder bag (which was later found discarded and unmolested in a trash can nearby) and-- drum roll, please-- an old-school rainbow logo Apple sticker.

Actually, the woman describes it as a sticker, but we strongly suspect that it was actually a vinyl logo cling; if it had been a sticker, it would probably have been on the outside of the vehicle and there for the taking, making the smashing of a window somewhat gratuitous. The clings, on the other hand, are applied to the inside surface of the glass. They're also a bit harder to come by than the stickers, several of which came with every Mac sold.

But anyway, here's the thing: the victim of this heinous crime lives in Somerville, Massachusetts, which, coincidentally, also happens to be the birthplace of AtAT, the location of the original AtAT headquarters, and just one town over from the current AtAT compound. So we know what you're thinking, and no, we didn't do it.

For the record, we already have more Apple stickers than we known what to do with-- indeed, we could probably cover every square inch of the metallic blue floral wallpaper in the upstairs bathroom with them, if we ever got a mind to. And logo clings? Well, we're not exactly rolling in those, but we certainly have enough that we don't need to go breaking into nearby vehicles to get more. Especially when, if we really wanted another one, we could always just grab one off of eBay. Add to that the fact that we have a rock-solid alibi for the entire month of May when the crime took place (new parents have no time to run around breaking into cars) and we think you'll agree that your knee-jerk suspicions were incorrect, not to mention insulting. Shame on you.

Now that that's settled, on a related note, the cling that graced the left rear door window of the AtATmobile for the past eight years had petrified, turned brown, and evidently bonded chemically with the glass to which it stuck; the application of razor blades and harsh chemical solvents was necessary to remove it from the window to make way for a Babies "R" Us windowshade. True story. But fear not; we've still got the AtAT sticker on the bumper.


 
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And Now For A Word From Our Sponsors
 

From the writer/creator of AtAT, a Pandemic Dad Joke taken WAYYYYYY too far


 

The above scene was taken from the 10/23/02 episode:

October 23, 2002: Apple did have 3.8% market share last quarter in the U.S., Quark has not pulled out of the UK, and Canadian teachers can get Mac OS X for free. Meanwhile, Apple lays off a "very small" number of workers, and we've got an airtight alibi in case anyone suspects us of perpetrating the Great Apple Sticker Car Heist of 2002...

Other scenes from that episode:

  • 3792: Accuracy Is Overrated (10/23/02)   Several viewers have noticed that our typical broadcast time these days hovers right around 5 AM EDT, and have written to us wondering why we've chosen to produce AtAT during such ungodly hours. Well, friends, the reason is simple: when slapping the show together that late at night, we're prone to make all sorts of entertainingly goofy mistakes which we can then correct on slow news days in fun-filled retraction scenes like this one...

  • 3793: Slippage Of The Pink Type (10/23/02)   Okay, it's official: we're really sick of this whole "struggling economy" thing. And it wasn't any one thing that finally pushed us over the edge and suddenly, bam, we were sick of it, but rather a slow realization that, even to drama hounds like us, the magic is simply gone...

Or view the entire episode as originally broadcast...

Vote Early, Vote Often!
Why did you tune in to this '90s relic of a soap opera?
Nostalgia is the next best thing to feeling alive
My name is Rip Van Winkle and I just woke up; what did I miss?
I'm trying to pretend the last 20 years never happened
I mean, if it worked for Friends, why not?
I came here looking for a receptacle in which to place the cremated remains of my deceased Java applets (think about it)

(1233 votes)

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