A Consensus... Of Sorts (11/1/02)

It's official: the latest round of November 5th rumors has finally reached a state of Rumoric Convergence. You know how, early on in an Apple rumor's life cycle, there are typically seven or eight variations on the same general theme? You get one guy saying that Steve Jobs will juggle chainsaws onstage during January's Expo keynote, a second insisting that Jobs will bite the head off a live pigeon instead, a third stating that he'll be swallowing three chainsaws and a pigeon while riding a unicycle and singing "MacArthur Park," etc. As time marches ever onward and the alleged event approaches, each rumormonger "adjusts" his dirt with new information that's appeared, and all those rumors start to blend together and overlap until finally everyone basically agrees that what's really going to happen is that Steve Jobs will be picking up a citrus zester and a casaba melon at the Safeway on his way home from work next Thursday. It's a process as natural as spring giving way to autumn. Or something.

So anyway, here's the latest on the convergence progress of the November 5th rumors: on the Mac OS Rumors front, after hedging for the past several days, the site has finally come around to admitting that there's "very compelling evidence" pointing to PowerBook and iBook revisions "early next week." MOSR also reiterates that, due to Apple's line-in-the-sand decision to wait for ultrathin slot-loading DVD-R drives instead of compromising and adding something as gauche as a (shudder) disc tray to the PowerBook, if those portables do indeed surface in Tuesday, none of them will include SuperDrives. Sorry, road warriors: no dice yet on burning DVDs on the go, at least not if you want to stick with a Mac.

And the convergence continues, because by an utterly amazing coincidence, that all meshes nicely with a new report by Think Secret, which wholeheartedly embraces the previously-dished magical November 5th date. According to Think Secret, we will indeed see new 'Books come Tuesday, and the PowerBooks will definitely be SuperDriveless. (Incidentally, Think Secret also tosses another little pinch of spice into the mix: reportedly iBook prices will drop "just a bit." Woo-hoo, that means more money to spend on Fruit Roll-Ups and Pez!)

So there you have it: everybody's pretty much on the same page now. The smart money's on modestly updated iBooks and PowerBooks come Tuesday, sans SuperDrives, but with faster processors, probably more RAM and bigger disks, maybe Bluetooth built-in, and perhaps even a nice little price break on the consumer models. No additional word on those whispers of a 19-inch Cinema Display, but heck, there's no reason to ruin all the surprises.

For what it's worth, we here at AtAT consider Think Secret to have a near-100% track record with pre-announcement product info like this, so we'll eat our hat if it turns out to be wrong. Then again, the hat in question is a novelty sombrero we ourselves fashioned entirely from Fruit Roll-Ups and Pez, so we're not exactly risking much, but still, it's something, right?

Mmmmmm... Pezzy!

SceneLink (3813)
And Now For A Word From Our Sponsors

Mash-ups and original music by AtAT's former Intern and Goddess-in-Training

Prim M at YouTube


The above scene was taken from the 11/1/02 episode:

November 1, 2002: All the rumormongers fall in line and predict new SuperDriveless PowerBooks and iBooks coming this Tuesday. Meanwhile, the premier of a Canadian province seems just a little bit too impressed with Maine's student laptop program, and "Redmond Justice" may be winding to a close, as the judge prepares to rule on the proposed settlement later today...

Other scenes from that episode:

  • 3814: Imminent Border Incident (11/1/02)   Attention middle-school students of Maine: keep your state-provided iBooks in sight at all times. Handcuff those babies to the limb of your choice. Sleep with one eye open and one hand on your trusty Louisville Slugger, if need be...

  • 3815: Bracing For A Series Finale (11/1/02)   Can it really be true? Dare we admit even the remotest possibility that, in just a few short hours, the antitrust courtroom drama known as "Redmond Justice" might finally be skidding to a close? After what we're pretty sure has been 73 years on the air, the show just might broadcast its long-overdue series finale later today, and frankly, we're not at all sure how to cope with that startling fact...

Or view the entire episode as originally broadcast...

Vote Early, Vote Often!
Why did you tune in to this '90s relic of a soap opera?
Nostalgia is the next best thing to feeling alive
My name is Rip Van Winkle and I just woke up; what did I miss?
I'm trying to pretend the last 20 years never happened
I mean, if it worked for Friends, why not?
I came here looking for a receptacle in which to place the cremated remains of my deceased Java applets (think about it)

(1250 votes)

As an Amazon Associate, AtAT earns from qualifying purchases

DISCLAIMER: AtAT was not a news site any more than Inside Edition was a "real" news show. We made Dawson's Creek look like 60 Minutes. We engaged in rampant guesswork, wild speculation, and pure fabrication for the entertainment of our viewers. Sure, everything here was "inspired by actual events," but so was Amityville II: The Possession. So lighten up.

Site best viewed with a sense of humor. AtAT is not responsible for lost or stolen articles. Keep hands inside car at all times. The drinking of beverages while watching AtAT is strongly discouraged; AtAT is not responsible for damage, discomfort, or staining caused by spit-takes or "nosers."

Everything you see here that isn't attributed to other parties is copyright ©,1997-2024 J. Miller and may not be reproduced or rebroadcast without his explicit consent (or possibly the express written consent of Major League Baseball, but we doubt it).