Okay, boys and girls, according to PC World, Intel plans to take the wraps off a new Pentium 4 that runs at a whopping 3 GHz tomorrow-- which means it's time to get all panicky about the PowerPC currently topping out at less than half that clock speed and to start swapping frenzied speculation about Apple's imminent switch to x86 iron. We know, we know... it's a pretty tired old rumor to be dragging out for another trot around the block, especially with IBM's new PowerPC 970 confirmed for production in a year's time, but a 3 GHz Intel chip means a palpable fear of underperformance in the Mac realm, and this is just the way this stuff works. So suck it up and get ready to dish.

Besides, at least now there's a slightly new wrinkle to jazz up an otherwise played-out rumor: faithful viewer Eric Wright notes that the Naked Mole Rat furnishes us with a few tantalizing tidbits about Top Secret Super-Duper-Hush-Hush skunkworks x86-based Macs that have allegedly been farmed out to Apple's most trusted testers recently. It seems that, in an effort to keep the details about these supposed Athlon-powered Macs as secure as possible, the test units come in "nondescript beige chassis" (shudder) instead of Apple's trademark lickable enclosures, and said chassis are-- get this-- welded shut so no one can get at the goods within.

Hmmm... a nondescript beige box that's been permanently welded shut. If that's not the antithesis of Apple's current Power Mac G4 enclosure with the easy-open side panel, we don't know what is. And while most people probably assume that Apple is going the beige, blah, and hermetically-sealed route just during this early testing phase to thwart the spies that lurk in every shadow, we're starting to think that said prototypes are actually darn close to the major enclosure overhaul Apple plans if IBM and Motorola ever both spontaneously burst into flame and the company ever needs to put a full-scale PowerPC-to-x86 migration into action.

Think about it: what better way to ensure that Apple's new Macs gain broad acceptance in the Wintel world than by making them ugly, generic, and as difficult to work with as humanly possible? Nothing would appeal to the PC camp more than a computer chock full of all sorts of empty RAM and PCI slots but which requires the Jaws of Life to open. This is targeted marketing at its most brilliant, people. Why, we can see the stock flying already!