Acronyms Can Be Fun (11/25/02)
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And the winner for Most Unnecessary Corrections Ever Generated by a Single AtAT Scene is (drum roll, please): "Is This A Flaying Offense?," last Friday's lighthearted romp suggesting that Apple's listing of "Amd support" in Mac OS X 10.2 constituted irrefutable evidence that x86-based Macs running AMD's processors are due on store shelves by Christmas! Sadly, ITAFO?, also known as Scene 3858, couldn't be here this evening because it's on location in Zaire shooting a new romantic comedy opposite ex-Bundy beauty Christina Applegate, so we'd like to accept the award on its behalf. Save the rainforests!

Why "unnecessary" corrections, you ask? Well, because contrary to widespread public opinion, we here at the AtAT compound do have two brain cells to rub together. (We pass them around as needed, like those wacky people-eatin' Stygian witches and their shared crystal eye in Clash of the Titans.) Being thusly neurologically equipped, we did in fact realize that something as massively ground-breaking as x86 support in Jaguar probably wouldn't be mentioned in a single page on Apple's servers comparing features between various Apple operating systems-- and nowhere else.

Likewise, we realized that there's a difference between "AMD" and "Amd" (though elsewhere on the page Apple also mentions "anit-aliasing," so maybe all bets are off). Lastly, we are in fact perfectly well aware of the real "Amd support" to which Apple refers, and we know full well that it has nothing to do with Athlons and Hammers. The scene was actually our hamfisted attempt to pounce upon a nifty coincidental acronym and use it as the basis for an ironical foil-- one that would paradoxically reinforce our years-repeated "x86-based Macs" mantra of "Ain't Gonna Happen Until IBM and Motorola Both Fall Through The Earth's Crust."

At the time we were actually worried that the sarcasm wasn't subtle enough; in hindsight, though, it wasn't nearly as over the top as the time we suggested that Apple had sent a team of ninjas out to disable AppleInsider's server. Or that time we announced that AtAT had been bought out by Microsoft and was being renamed "As the Sweater Spins." And people believed us then, too, so we really should have seen this coming. Now well-meaning folks in various online forums (such as this one and this one) are citing our gag as fuel for the x86 rumor fire, when it was intended to be exactly the opposite. Sorry about that. We're taking steps to strengthen our verbal irony cues in future broadcasts, and we're even evaluating some extremely experimental high-tech visual prompts (they're subtle, but we're pretty sure you'll know them when you see them) to make absolutely sure that our intentions aren't misconstrued in the future.

Meanwhile, just to close the door on this sorry state of affairs once and for all, we should probably make it 100% crystal clear that Jaguar's "Amd support" does not refer to AMD's line of x86-compatible processors; instead, as faithful viewer bjd and dozens of others unnecessarily pointed out to us, it obviously refers instead to "age-related macular degeneration." As we all know, along with other nifty stuff like Rendezvous, Quartz Extreme, and the intensely useful and overdue support for 255-character usernames (login: heyhowdoyoulikemyreallylongusernameaintitbitchin), Jaguar also incorporates Apple's industry-leading technology promoting the development of degenerative eye diseases. So now you know the real story. Okay?

CAUTION: IRONY


 
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From the writer/creator of AtAT, a Pandemic Dad Joke taken WAYYYYYY too far


 

The above scene was taken from the 11/25/02 episode:

November 25, 2002: Yes, the AtAT staff knows the difference between "AMD" and "Amd." Meanwhile, rumors of significant layoffs in Apple's education division coincide with reports that the company's PowerSchool division is axing projects, and some guy in London suffered a laptop-related injury of a decidedly personal nature...

Other scenes from that episode:

  • 3860: Education Goes Boom (11/25/02)   There's some pretty unsettling news floating around out there, folks, and we're not talking about the fact that Larry "Zero Shares" Ellison was on Apple's board of directors for five whole years and waited until after he left to finally pick up some stock, as Reuters is reporting...

  • 3861: Ahhhhh, Sweeps Month (11/25/02)   Hmmm, now this is a slightly sticky situation. See, this here is a family show, and as such, there are certain subjects that we generally don't allow on the air during our time slot. Unfortunately, we've gotten so many requests to work this one particular angle into our plotline, we're compelled by state law to comply-- and this story has certain elements that are, shall we say, "unsuitable" for our younger and more sensitive viewers...

Or view the entire episode as originally broadcast...

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