"Say, AtAT," some of you folks on the same wavelength as faithful viewer Steve Steuber are asking, "whatever happened with that special Day-After-Thanksgiving holiday bash that was scheduled to take place last Friday in Apple's retail stores?" Well, folks, it's like this: anything we tell you about it is going to be third-hand info. We sort of missed all the festivities, since on Friday at 6 PM we were all still comatose and hibernating to burn off the 1.2 cubic yards of stuffing we had ingested the night before. But based on what we've seen around the 'net, though, the whole affair was a smashing success; indeed, a Dow Jones Business News article we first saw mentioned over at MacMinute quotes Apple's retail czar Ron Johnson as saying that over 365,000 people visited the company's stores last week, making for Apple's bestest retail week ever. Mmmmm, that's good eatin'!

As for what exactly went down at the shindigs, well, prices did, for one. MacMinute has a complete list of the special deals that were available to partygoers until midnight; highlights include Mac OS X 10.2 for $98, iPods for as low as $268, and the immensely nifty 17-inch widescreen iMac for an insanely low $1888-- a substantial $111 off its regular price. Then there were the giveaways, including exclusive wrapping paper and a matching mousepad "designed by renowned artist and graphic designer Rex Ray" which were doled out with any $50 purchase. Swanky.

However, the key to Apple's success wasn't the generous discount on selected merchandise, nor was it the free artsy wrapping paper, nor was it even the virgin sacrifice and blood oath of fealty to the Dark God of Retail that Apple's board of directors performed naked over the former site of the ill-fated Icon Garden at midnight the night before. The real reason why Apple's post-Thanksgiving hootenanny raked in so many shoppers was the stocking stuffers-- to wit, the free Apple "magnetic poetry" sets that will no doubt start to show up on eBay any minute now. Granted, Apple left out some pretty crucial words (such as "mercurial," "turtleneck," and "Evian"), but it's a classy party favor nonetheless, and obviously the root of Apple's massive success. Martha Stewart would be proud, if she weren't so busy coming up with ten ways to make that drab prison cell pop.

But we digress. The moral of the story for Apple is that it's guaranteed retail success as long as it trots out free stuff that sticks to a fridge. It's the first law of retail, baby, and should be etched in stone above the doors of every store in every mall: People Dig Magnets. 'Nuff said. Oh, and about last week being Apple's best retail week ever? This week's still young, and we'd run right out and pick up a six-pack of iBooks if they came with a set of Steve Jobs Dress-Up Magnets.