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Soup: Good Food, Bad Smell (12/4/02)
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Lastly, a quickie courtesy of faithful viewer Tuner Equalizer: an Associated Press article notes that something stinks in the Seattle area, and it's not what you think. Reportedly the Puget Sound Clean Air Agency is up in arms over Stockpot Soups, a nearby soup company which has been cited three times in the past year and a half because "odors released during the manufacture of onion soup... penetrated well into Redmond."
Glen Jones, a nearby resident, had this to say about the phenomenon: "For quite a while nobody could figure out what it was. It was this oniony body-odor smell, almost like, well, did I use my deodorant this morning or what?" Okay, hold the phone, here; has anybody actually proven that this "oniony body-odor smell" isn't actually stronger in Redmond? Reportedly the "soup-making smells" are noticeable four nights out of five... is it at all possible that the fifth night is a certain simian CEO's bowling night three suburbs south?
That's right, folks, we're talking about Steve Ballmer. After all, we know the man sweats like something not of this earth, and the geographical coincidence is just a little too scary to ignore. If any budding investigative journalists out there want to prove their mettle, we're guessing that a little digging will eventually unearth the fact that the three $13,000 citations were paid not by Stockpot Soups or its parent company Campbell, but by Microsoft. In fact, we wouldn't be at all surprised to hear that the very presence of the soup plant in the first place was engineered by Microsoft as a convenient cover for the whiffy tendencies of the company's CEO.
C'mon, any company slimy enough to fake letters of support to attorneys general from dead people isn't above a little deception over a highly-placed executive's personal stench. Never underestimate the power of soup.
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SceneLink (3876)
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And Now For A Word From Our Sponsors |
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 | | The above scene was taken from the 12/4/02 episode: December 4, 2002: Apple's recent application for trademarks begins the "iPhone" speculation anew. Meanwhile, Apple UK ends its "Double RAM" promotion over a month early, and something stinks down Redmond way (something else, that is)...
Other scenes from that episode: 3874: We're iScreening Our iCalls (12/4/02) Heads up, true believers, because rampant iPhone speculation once again rears its ugly head! Actually, truth be told, there's nothing particularly ugly about it, really, other than the fact that it's been popping up periodically since 1999 and we're still really nowhere nearer to finding out just what it's all about... 3875: Cheap RAM As Health Risk (12/4/02) Attention, Kmart shoppers: that Blue Light Special on RAM may soon be over. Remember when Apple launched the "Double Your Memory" promotion, which allowed customers to double the base RAM in any new Mac for just $40?...
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