As the Apple Turns: Scene 3910: Time To Chew Bandwidth (1/31/03)

Time To Chew Bandwidth (1/31/03)

Hey all you digital lifestyle fiends, fire up that clickin' finger: both iPhoto 2 and iMovie 3 are finally available for download from Apple's servers, either as standalone installers or by running Software Update. They were originally slated to appear last Saturday, but hey, better late than really late, we always say... at least, we say it on those rare occasions when we're only late, as opposed to those far more common scenarios in which we're really late-- which is when we say "better really late than asleep with the chickens." But, uh, it's possible we're overexplaining things a smidge; we're going to assume you probably catch our drift.

Most likely, you already know all about these newest versions of Apple's iApps from Steve's extended demos during the last Expo keynote, but just in case you were washing your hair that day (and you're somehow so incapacitated with ennui you can't even click over to the iPhoto and iMovie product pages), here's a quick rundown of the latest bells and whistles to get tossed on top of an already teetering pile. iMovie 3 includes greater control over music and sound (otherwise known as a "volume control"), the much-touted Ken Burns photo pan and zoom effect, new sound effects, "pro-quality video effects and titles" (whereas Final Cut Pro now boasts "actual pro-quality video effects and titles"), support for DVD chapter markers and one-click iDVD activation, and better integration with iTunes and iPhoto libraries. Meanwhile, iPhoto 2 gains a smart Enhance function, an allegedly magical Retouch tool, simple archiving of photos to CD or DVD, better email support, new printing templates, an improved keywords function, a trash can, and-- all together, now-- one-click iDVD activation and better integration with the iTunes library. Good stuff, one and all.

Interestingly enough, iMovie is actually at version 3.0.1, and there's already an iMovie 3.0.1 patch available for download, which "improves performance" over version 3.0. At first we figured that had to be some kind of record for issuing a bug-fix patch (3:00:00 PM PST: Apple makes iMovie 3.0 available for download. 3:00:04 PM PST: Apple issues iMovie 3.0.1 updater), and we were all set to crack all kinds of zany jokes to that effect, when we suddenly remembered that the iLife retail package (which includes iPhoto 2, iMovie 3, iDVD 3, and iTunes 3) has been shipping for a few days, now, and those discs were probably pressed with iMovie 3.0.

But then we realized just how incredibly boring and pedestrian that explanation is, and we just decided to ignore it and crack those zany jokes about the "quickest update in the West" anyway, but then we wound up overexplaining things again and pretty much beat the issue into a thin, soupy substance that best resembles that weird stain in the corner of your living room carpet. We've really got to learn to stop doing that. Anyway, if you bought the iLife set because you wanted the otherwise-unavailable iDVD 3 and/or you didn't feel like downloading 118 MB of data from Apple's probably-overloaded servers, check your version numbers and remember that iMovie 3.0.1 updater. At 804 KB, it's not going to melt your modem. Happy creating, folks.

SceneLink (3910)

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The above scene was taken from the 1/31/03 episode:

January 31, 2003: Apple finally gets around to posting iMovie 3 and iPhoto 2-- six days late, but moving fast. Meanwhile, Microsoft gets "hosed" by the Slammer worm because it forgot to install its own security patches, and Donny Osmond finds himself envying Jack Osbourne's mysterious 40 GB iPod...

Other scenes from that episode:

3911: Yeah, Trustworthy THIS, Bill (1/31/03) Say, do you remember about a year ago when the press "somehow" got hold of an email message Bill Gates sent to his minions about how Microsoft was going to make "Trustworthy Computing" its top priority, and emphasize security over features in all development moving forward?...
3912: Them Celebrities Get It All (1/31/03) Lucy, you got some 'splainin' to do! And by "Lucy," we mean "Steve." (Call it a term of endearment.) What's all this about Jack Osbourne walking around with a 40 GB iPod in his pocket? In case you haven't yet spotted it, Apple-X.net points out that in the "Behind The Scenes" video clips of that new Osbournes-Meet-The-Osmonds Pepsi Twist commercial (the one we're feverishly working on bringing back in time to show to Black Sabbath Ozzy, just to give him a glimpse into his future and then videotape his head caving in), there's a moment when Donny Osmond admits pangs of jealousy because while his own 'Pod is a 20 GB model, Jack's packs a 40 GB drive-- which is noteworthy in part because we'd have thought that any blood relative of "Suicide Solution" Ozzy coming within five feet of Donny's Pearly Whites of Goodness and Light(TM) would lead to the instantaneous collapse of the time-space continuum, but mostly because 40 GB iPods aren't available to mere mortals yet...

Or view the entire episode as originally broadcast...


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