Important periodontal safety tip, people: don't cruise the rumors sites while flossing, because mixing good oral hygiene habits with the element of surprise is really just asking for trouble. That said, by the bleeding of our gums, something wicked this way comes! Wicked fast, that is. Maybe. Assuming you trust the French, and maybe the Germans-- and really, why wouldn't you? Everyone knows that the best Mac dirt these days is imported from Europe. Yes, folks, it's true; good ol' American Apple rumors apparently just weren't cutting it anymore, and the Europeans saw a need and filled it.

So what's the buzz that sent a length of Glide cutting right into our gingiva? Mac Rumors reports that the forums of French Mac rumors mainstay MacBidouille are rife with reports of mysterious Apple boxes arriving on the loading docks of Mac reseller FNAC, tantalizingly labeled "Do Not Open Until Christmas (Or Monday, June 23rd-- Whichever Comes First)." Furthermore, said boxes are said to come in two sizes: "laptop-sized" and "much larger." Yeah, yeah, we know-- we should be really suspicious of reports like this, but what can we say? The closer we get to Christmas, the more we believe in Santa. And besides, Mac Rumors itself claims that "Apple Stores are also receiving palettes this week which are not to be opened until Monday afternoon." Awwww... can't we open just one, Mom? Please?

But wait, there's more: apparently Apple Germany is planning an invite-only WWDC keynote satellite party that promises to be "an unforgettable event." While that could just be based on the fact that Apple rented a pony and hired "Herr Bubbles" (recently voted by editors of Party Clown Weekly as "Berlin's Least Disturbing") as pre- and post-broadcast entertainment, we suspect it's more likely got something to do with the bits in the invitation along the lines of "discover the future," "new age of computing," and "top all your previous expectations on speed." All of which strongly implies to us that, come Monday, Cupertino gets a new area code-- and it'll be 970, baby!

Not literally, though. Don't go changing the area codes of all the Cupertino numbers in your Address Book, because you'll wind up talking to someone in Kremmling, Colorado, and we all know how painful that can be.

No, what we meant to imply is that while it's all still just hearsay at this point, the say we're hearing hints strongly at a whiz-bang Power Mac G5 intro this Monday, with immediate availability right after the keynote. And while we're trying desperately not to get our hopes up until we see something at least vaguely resembling evidence, we have to admit, we're starting to get a little antsy. Must... control.... enthusiasm... Must... think... underwhelming... thoughts...