His Mom Must Be So Proud (7/9/03)
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Finally, big props for the wunderkind! Scope out Apple's latest press release, which announces that Avie "Check Out The Big Brain On Brett" Tevanian has finally been promoted from senior veep of software engineering to an entirely new position: Chief Software Technology Officer. Avie, as you all know, is the plucky kid largely responsible for the deep-dish goodness of Mac OS X; not only has he been the go-to guy on our lickable operating system's development since Apple's momentous acquisition of NeXT back at the twilight of the Amelio Dynasty, but he was also Steve's right hand man as the veep of engineering back at that erstwhile software mill. And heck, before that he pretty much created the Mach kernel upon which NeXTSTEP and Mac OS X are based. All this and the little fella can't be a day over fourteen. He's kind of like the Doogie Howser of operating system development, only his best friend isn't named Vinnie. At least, as far as we know.

This represents some well-deserved time in the spotlight for Avie, who has seen a lot less screen time than most of Apple's other major players; in fact, the last time we recall him appearing onscreen (not counting that thank-heaven-it-was-unfounded rumor of his imminent departure a couple of years back) is way back in the golden era of "Redmond Justice," when Steve sent him in to testify against Microsoft and he told a harrowing tale of knifing babies. (It's not what you think; he was talking about Microsoft pressuring Apple to stop developing QuickTime... although we wouldn't be terribly surprised to hear that Redmond goes in for knifing babies in the literal sense, too.)

Now, we would have thought that Avie's new position would be more of a "big picture" kind of thing, something that would pull him up and out of the trenches; indeed, the press release indicates that Avie's new task is to "focus on setting company-wide software technology directions," which doesn't sound much like a dig-through-guts programming position. But Steve refers to the new gig letting Avie "return to a more hands-on technical role," so frankly, we haven't a clue what it's all about, other than Avie's probably getting a lot more cash every week or two to spend on penny whistles and moon pies. But who's going to fill Avie's sneakers over in the senior veep spot? None other than Bertrand Serlet, a guy about whom we know nothing more than the teensy blurb in his bio ("key player" in Mac OS X's arrival, veep of Platform Technology, yet another former NeXTie)-- but we anticipate several opportunities for bawdy French farce in our future. Time will tell.

By the way, we were impressed to notice that Apple's web gnomes had already updated the Executive Profiles page and Avie's bio to reflect the lineup changes mere hours after the news hit the wire. Unless, of course, the changes were made prior to the actual announcement... but it's not like that ever happens, right?

 
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From the writer/creator of AtAT, a Pandemic Dad Joke taken WAYYYYYY too far

 

The above scene was taken from the 7/9/03 episode:

July 9, 2003: Avie Tevanian gets a big fat promotion for all of his years in the Mac OS X salt mines. Meanwhile, evidence of an imminent wireless mouse and keyboard continues to mount, and Apple comes up with still more ways to draw and keep .Mac subscribers: .Mac Bookmarks and free solitaire...

Other scenes from that episode:

  • 4064: Farmer's Wife, Carving Knife (7/9/03)   Looks like we're in for another keyboard and mouse revision, folks, and this one might finally be a humdinger. Apple hasn't had a major change to its input devices since the advent of the Pro Mouse and Pro Keyboard signaled the death of The Puck; since then, the most we've seen is the addition of white variants (for the LCD iMac, and sold separately to customers who thought the original black models were too goth for use in the suburbs) and a recent cheapening of the design that debuted with May's new eMacs that removed the "Pro" designation from the products' names...

  • 4065: .Still .More .Enticements (7/9/03)   Looks like the push to retain and enlist .Mac members continues apace. Recently we noted Apple's kind offer to bribe existing .Mac subscribers by knocking twenty bucks off their renewal fee for every rube they managed to sign up; not long after, we also pointed out Apple giving away free games and gift certificates to renewing members, plus the extension of the "Every Mac Needs .Mac" discount promo...

Or view the entire episode as originally broadcast...

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