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Of Pants And Wetness (1/31/98)
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And we feel it's our duty to point out a testimonial of Rhapsody Mac OS Enterprise Server's raw speed and power, as reported by a Mac OS Rumors source. It seems that this source was privy to an unofficial demonstration of MOSES' latest build, running on a prototype 300 MHz G3 server, and its performance while serving files to several Mac OS machines over standard 10 Mbps Ethernet was "remarkable."

No, it's not the "remarkable" bit that we want to point out. It's the source's quote that "this OS is going to wet a lot of pants in Redmond. If it hasn't already." That is, by far, the best quote we've yet seen regarding Apple's upcoming operating system: it's simple, concise, and effective in its mild scatalogicality. And we think it'd be a really, really good ad campaign:

"Rhapsody: Wetting Pants in '98." We can see the web badges now... But, of course, that's probably just a side-effect of the sleep deprivation. Never mind. But don't forget to vote for your favorite Rhapsody name in our current survey! The results so far are available as well.

 
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The above scene was taken from the 1/31/98 episode:

January 31, 1998: CompUSA's probably not crying about the other Mac-selling retailers jumping ship, but is there more to this scenario than just coincidence? Meanwhile, Apple cozies up to a certain developer in Redmond in hopes of securing a little cash to ride out the quarter, and an off-the-cuff remark gathers steam as a grass-roots awareness campaign...

Other scenes from that episode:

  • 408: CompUSA on Grassy Knoll (1/31/98)   Okay, you weekend viewers: draw the curtains, lock the doors, and check your light fixtures for bugs before reading the following recon from eagle-eyed faithful viewer and fellow conspiracy theorist Winston Collier: How could Apple get CompUSA, a notoriously weak supporter of Apple, to agree to open these salon stores?...

  • 409: Ain't Too Proud to Beg (1/31/98)   And speaking of cloak-and-dagger tactics, who knows what evil lurks in the heart of Cupertino? The Knife knows, and he's telling all, albeit in his patented circuitous fashion. And the latest buzz involves the age-old question, "How far would you go to make a profit?"...

Or view the entire episode as originally broadcast...
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