Geez, if you had told us back in the mid-'80s that in less than two decades' time we'd be praising IBM to the skies as Apple's golden savior while cursing Motorola as the Mac's near-downfall, we'd have force-fed you a lithium and sent you merrily on your way. Funny how things change, isn't it? (Just not necessarily "Ha Ha" funny.) Not that we have anything against Motorola employees, mind you (what few still remain, at any rate); we know a few, and they're smart, competent people who frequently make exasperated faces when faced with brain-dead orders from above. It's Motorola as a corporate entity who should really just lay all the cards on the table and admit once and for all that it's messing with Apple just to watch Steve sweat, as some twisted form of StarMax-inspired vengeance.

See, it's less than a week to Steve's Apple Expo keynote in Paris, and the man is well aware that no matter what great stuff he unveils, if badly-overdue updates to the PowerBook product line aren't somewhere in the mix, Apple's going to take some heat. Unfortunately, nobody knows for sure whether or not Motorola finally coughed up enough of those PPC7457 G4s (originally due last May) to allow Apple to rev the products. Interestingly enough, as of yesterday there were still conflicting rumors surrounding the likelihood of PowerBook updates meeting the deadline; LoopRumors says such an announcement is a "certainty," while the PowerPage claims that it "isn't likely." Then again, the PowerPage also insists that the holdup isn't a shortage of 7457 G4s at all, but rather a problem with "the final assembly of the boxes," which doesn't slot nicely into our foaming-at-the-mouth Motorola-as-scapegoat world view, so we've decided not to believe a word of it. Then again again, LoopRumors also reported that the new iMacs would have FireWire 800 and would be introduced in Paris, so your guess is as good as ours. And theirs.

Of course, when all's said and done, when it comes to dishing dirt, we say "accuracy, shmaccuracy": it's all about the drama, Bootsy, and this time it's MacBidouille who's got it in spades. They posted a rumor yesterday (one of their last, apparently, as noted by faithful viewer Codewarriorus) noting that "Apple/Motorola relations are degrading," which is probably true regardless of which definition of "degrading" you fancy. Allegedly Steve proved one of our recent predictions true by visiting Motorola headquarters, although there's no word on whether or not he brought along his "big, scary axe"; whether he did or not, though, at least he gave the Moto execs an earful, reportedly calling the G4 a "Tonka truck processor"-- meaning, of course, that it's a mere toy next to the raw, unbridled power of the mighty G5. Or maybe he meant that it's bright yellow and has big, goofy wheels. (Oooo, words can hurt like a fist.)

Meanwhile, Steve is allegedly collecting weekly updates on the situation, possibly in case he wants to unleash the lawyers next year in hopes of recouping lost PowerBook revenue in the form of a lawsuit. Apple and Motorola locked in bitter multimillion-dollar litigation over missing chips and mental cruelty? That's pure ratings gold, baby!