Okay, the Stevenote has finally come and gone-- you can exhale now. And since there wasn't a webcast and we didn't make the little jaunt to Paris (we would have, you understand, but we've got an electrician coming today, and if you cancel on those guys they ram a screwdriver right up your fusebox) we haven't absorbed even the faintest background levels of Reality Distortion Field energy, so we're feeling uncustomarily objective about the whole thing. Just based on the reports we're seeing floating hither and thither through the ether, however, to us the biggest surprise seems to be the dearth of jaw-dropping surprises. Actually, never mind jaw-dropping; to be honest, we'd have settled for jaw-loosening, jaw-slackening, or even jaw-ever-so-slightly-unclenching.

Basically, none of the rumors that could be categorized as even vaguely "fringe" came to pass. There was no iPod Special Edition, no bevy of iPod peripherals, no announcement that Panther will ship any earlier than "by the end of the year," no announcement that iTunes for Windows will either, no launch of the iTunes Music Store for Europe, and, perhaps most disappointingly of all, no Disney-branded Mac OS X running on Intel-based Mac tablet video iPod mobile phones demoed onstage by Jimmy Hoffa and Elvis. Sometimes we wonder why we even bother getting up in the morning.

What we got instead was (shudder) what everyone realistically expected. The good news, of course, is that the one rumor that really mattered did, in fact, turn out to be true: Motorola evidently finally managed to squeeze out a reasonable yield of PowerPC 7457s, because new PowerBooks are here! And all three models were updated! According to Apple's press release, the 12-inch model got a bump to 1 GHz, a boost to an nVIDIA GeForce FX Go 5200 graphics subsystem, a lift to 256 MB of onboard RAM, a hike to USB 2.0, and a hoist to mini-DVI video out. The 17-incher received a $300 price cut even as it got pumped up to 1.33 GHz; it's also got new ATI Radeon 9600 graphics, USB 2.0, and an 80 GB hard drive.

The big change, though, came with the 15-inch PowerBook, which has finally shed its titanium shell and emerged looking just like the aluminum 17-incher's little brother. (It also gained .1 inch of thickness and .2 ounces of weight. Time to lay off the Yodels?) It's now got a 1.25 GHz G4 and the gamut of new stuff, e.g. USB 2.0, Bluetooth, AirPort Extreme, yadda yadda yadda. Oh, and the ultra cool automatic backlit keyboard-- which, sadly, didn't make it into the 12-incher, so we suppose we're not replacing the AtAT Pismo just yet.

In our opinion, though, this is a solid update, all in all, and unless you were so self-deluded that you were somehow expecting a dual 3.0 GHz PowerBook G5 with integrated spear gun and cloaking device, you probably find these specs just about right in line with the rumor mill's expectations. Which means that if you're disappointed, Apple's only sin was not living up to the insane demands of the irrational voices in your head. (How dare they!) If you're in the market for a spiffy new laptop, 15- and 17-inch PowerBooks are available immediately, and the 12-inchers will follow next month. Scattered reports indicate that at least some Apple retail stores even have the new 15-inchers in stock. Wait, so "available today" actually means "available today? Okay, see, now that qualifies as a bona fide surprise.