Recommence Frothing Now (10/6/03)
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Are you feeling a little empty inside now that Apple has finally refreshed its PowerBook line after months and months of frothing pique by impatient Mac fanatics such as yourself? Hey, it's only natural; people get addicted to Frothing Pique after a while. Personally, we're still appalled that the FDA doesn't regulate it better, at least to the extent of putting a note about potential addiction on the label. (Not that they should ban it, or anything; after all, there's nothing more refreshing on a hot summer's night than a tall, frosty mug of Frothing Pique. Consume responsibly, kiddies.)

Anyway, if you grew so accustomed to waiting in vain for updated PowerBooks that you find you can't sleep at night now that said PowerBooks are actually here, we may have a partial solution for you: AppleInsider reports that the iBook, Apple's Other White Meat™, is on tap for a revision in time for the upcoming holiday shopping season. And they're not just talking about an extra 100 MHz of clock speed and 10 extra GB of hard disk space; they mean a revision revision, including a "completely new form-factor that has been under development at the company's Valley Green 6 facility for some time now."

A whole new enclosure? Now that's a spicy meatball! And those of you who, like us, regularly witness a 17-month-old child bounce up and down on the flexy lid of an original Blueberry clamshell iBook as a springboard and wonder whether any new iBook from Apple could possibly withstand such a supersize bucket of abuse, well, AppleInsider claims that there's "an emphasis on durability that remains essential for the iBook's core audience of students and youngsters," so we'll see. (Apple: if you really want to assess the physical moxie of your new iBook design, drop us a line and we'll talk about setting up an Anya Test. She will break you.)

In addition to the new enclosure, the revised iBook will reportedly be brought up to speed feature-wise, gaining processor speeds up to 1.1 GHz, AirPort Extreme support, internal Bluetooth support, USB 2.0, 166 MHz DDR RAM, a better keyboard, a brighter display, and new flavor crystals for longer-lasting minty-fresh breath. Sounds like a winner, right? Well, let's hope that Apple does indeed get it onto shelves in time for the holiday shopping frenzy; technically the company's got over a month to go, yet, but that doesn't mean we can't launch right into the fun stuff. Everyone raise your mugs of pique and repeat after us:

"Why the [expletive deleted] isn't it here, yet?! We've been waiting for minutes!"

 
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And Now For A Word From Our Sponsors
 

From the writer/creator of AtAT, a Pandemic Dad Joke taken WAYYYYYY too far

 

The above scene was taken from the 10/6/03 episode:

October 6, 2003: It's official: Motorola announces that it's spinning off its chipmaking business. Meanwhile, rumors describe a new iBook allegedly slated to surface in time for the holiday buying season, and two Apple retail stores are scheduled for five-week closures for "remodeling," and we all know what that means...

Other scenes from that episode:

  • 4249: You Spin Me Right 'Round (10/6/03)   And the post-Galvin Motorola just keeps on truckin'! When the company's founder's grandson finally "resigned" due to a disagreement with the board of directors ("We want you to turn this company around" / "But if we keep going in the same direction eventually we'll go all the way around the world anyway"), there was a pretty solid consensus that as soon as the company had hired a replacement, it would probably heed the long-repeated advice of analysts and sell off its semiconductor business so that it could focus all its attention on its world-saving mission of making cell phones with little cameras in them...

  • 4251: Five More Weeks 'Til Funky (10/6/03)   Mac-loving mallwalkers of Minneapolis must be mildly miffed-- mostly at that completely unnecessary display of excessive alliteration, but also because their local Apple retail store at the Mall of America is closed from today through November 10th, as originally reported by MacMinute last Friday...

Or view the entire episode as originally broadcast...

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