Filemaker's First Step (2/6/98)
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Now that the-company-formerly-known-as-Claris has cast off all products but its cornerstone database and re-emerged as Filemaker, Inc., We at AtAT were wondering what its first move would be. A promise to fix the lingering bugs in Filemaker Pro? A commitment to make the engine threaded for improved performance? Maybe an announcement that it would finally be adding the SQL or ODBC hooks that developers have been begging for since time immemorial, which would allow the elegant and flexible Filemaker interface to serve as a front end for large corporate Oracle databases and the like? Nope. According to a press release, Filemaker, Inc.'s giving us a coffee mug instead.

That's right-- during Filemaker's "Work Like a Pro" promotion, purchasers of Filemaker Pro are entitled to receive a free gift, like a "stainless steel coffee tumbler valued at $30." Hey, Filemaker, we've got all the mugs we need; can we trade in the yuppieware tumbler for conditional value lists, dynamically-sortable portals, and event-triggered scripting?

Now don't get us wrong-- we like coffee mugs. ("I believe in coffee, coffee for everyone.") In fact, the free Claris travel mugs we scored at the last MacWorld Expo in Boston are a lifesaver during the morning commute, and tasteful as well (and now, probably collector's items, too, given the reorg). And a stainless steel coffee tumbler sounds even nicer. But we sincerely hope that Filemaker, Inc. plans to fix the many shortcomings of its database product, so that more people can enjoy its numerous-- and wonderful-- strengths.

 
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And Now For A Word From Our Sponsors
 

From the writer/creator of AtAT, a Pandemic Dad Joke taken WAYYYYYY too far

 

The above scene was taken from the 2/6/98 episode:

February 6, 1998: All's quiet on the Apple front, as the Mac-using world recovers from the shock of seeing real advertising, which even rendered Don Crabb upbeat. Meanwhile, the newly-rechristened Filemaker, Inc. announces that its first directive is "Yuppie Officeware for All," and some Mac mavens at CMU bleed six colors all over their fence in celebration of the Mac's fourteenth birthday...

Other scenes from that episode:

  • 426: Think Crabby (2/6/98)   Few people are questioning the direction of Apple's new "Think Different" snail ad (at least judging by the press coverage, as well as the AtAT viewers who have responded to our survey so far). Everyone seems to think that hard-hitting, factual, product-based comparisons are exactly what Apple needs right now (and has needed for years)...

  • 428: Don't Fence Us In (2/6/98)   We had to share this with you: Faithful viewer Brian Boyars of TIGCMUMUG (the Insanely Great Carnegie Mellon University Macintosh Users' Group) told us about a fence at his university that is frequently painted to advertise "events and other random stuff."...

Or view the entire episode as originally broadcast...

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