As the Apple Turns: Scene 4378: Relationship On The Mend (12/8/03)

Relationship On The Mend (12/8/03)

Hey, we've got great news for those of you who crave Apple's commitment to human-centric design and its industry-leading attention to detail, but really have a deep-down urge to throw money at Microsoft anyway: word has it that the company isn't abandoning the Mac platform, so you can have your Mac and still pay that Gates Tax you're so fond of supporting! Because everyone knows that you're not really a computer user unless you're forking scads of money over to ol' Bill, right? Right.

As you well know, rumors of Microsoft's eventual exit from the Mac world have circulated since time immemorial, but they gained a lot of steam once the company admitted that it was nixing Internet Explorer for our platform. Things got even more tense (at least, among people who actually care) when Microsoft bought up Virtual PC, since Redmond suddenly held all the cards when it came to reasonable ways of running Office on a Mac, both natively and at reasonable speeds in emulation. Oooh, scary! (No, seriously. We personally wouldn't much care if Macs could never run Office again, but we understand that the platform relies on the existence of Mac Office to maintain any viability for use in a business setting. Sad but true.)

But rejoice! AppleInsider reports that Microsoft has bumped up its planned presence at Macworld Expo (with "the second largest exhibition booth behind Apple's"-- oooh mama) and plans to launch more Mac product updates than you could stuff in a phone booth. (Phone booth. They were these things before everyone had cell phones, and you'd use coins to-- oh, never mind.) Reportedly Microsoft will have a spot during the Stevenote which it'll use to "officially renew its commitment to the Macintosh platform" by introducing Microsoft Office 2004 for the Macintosh, which will be "revolutionary."

Yes, "revolutionary." Something to do with "closely integrating its individual applications" or something. Sounds like AppleWorks to us, or maybe OpenDoc, but hey, who are we to judge "revolutionary"? We still think soda cans you can open without pulling a ring tab off of them are mankind's most significant technological leap forward since the discovery of fire. Or the invention of the wheel. Or, dare we say it, the invention of the wheel on fire.

Oh, and guess what? Rumor has it that there'll be a new version of Virtual PC, too. Virtual PC 7.0 "will finally deliver optimized performance for Apple's PowerPC G5 processor," so all of you who needed Windows compatibility and therefore couldn't upgrade to a G5 now need wait only a few months longer. And there are supposed to be new versions of MSN Messenger and Remote Desktop Connection Client, as well. See? Mac apps out the wazoo! Redmond does like us. Well, maybe not us, personally, but they like Mac users. Or at least they like our money, and in this world, that's almost exactly the same thing.

SceneLink (4378)

And Now For A Word From Our Sponsors

From the writer/creator of AtAT, a Pandemic Dad Joke taken WAYYYYYY too far

The above scene was taken from the 12/8/03 episode:

December 8, 2003: Apologies from the AtAT staff, who are largely immobilized following actions taken during the Great Falling of the White Stuff From Above. Meanwhile, yet another music download service gets ready to do battle-- and this one's run by Coca-Cola. And rumor has it that Microsoft plans to launch a ton of new Mac software upgrades this January, but please, for decorum's sake, try to contain your excitement...

Other scenes from that episode:

4376: Next Time: Flamethrower (12/8/03) You'll have to forgive us if we seem a little "off" today; things got seriously weird this weekend. It seemed like a perfectly ordinary Friday afternoon, but then all of a sudden this white powdery stuff started falling out of the sky and it didn't stop until Sunday night...
4377: So It's Finally Come To This (12/8/03) Okay, you know things have gotten out of hand when even the jokes stop being jokes and start being business models. The downloadable music business is officially a gold rush right now (well, except for the complete and utter lack of gold), as every company on the planet falls all over itself in a mad dash to establish an online music service in time to grab its share of that sweet dollar-a-song action that's all the rage these days...

Or view the entire episode as originally broadcast...


	Like K-pop, but only know the popular stuff? Expand your horizons! Prim M recommends underrated K-pop tunes based on YOUR taste!


	DISCLAIMER: AtAT was not a news site any more than Inside Edition was a "real" news show. We made Dawson's Creek look like 60 Minutes. We engaged in rampant guesswork, wild speculation, and pure fabrication for the entertainment of our viewers. Sure, everything here was "inspired by actual events," but so was Amityville II: The Possession. So lighten up. Site best viewed with a sense of humor. AtAT is not responsible for lost or stolen articles. Keep hands inside car at all times. The drinking of beverages while watching AtAT is strongly discouraged; AtAT is not responsible for damage, discomfort, or staining caused by spit-takes or "nosers." Everything you see here that isn't attributed to other parties is copyright ©,1997-2024 J. Miller and may not be reproduced or rebroadcast without his explicit consent (or possibly the express written consent of Major League Baseball, but we doubt it).