Okay, well, judging by the smoldering overturned cars in our local Boston-area streets and the shirtless, face-painted individuals passed out in doorways with grins frozen solid to their skulls while still clutching empty six-packs, we're going to take a wild, flailing stab at it and assume that the Patriots won the Super Bowl last night. Good for them, and good for us; the local constabulary is likely to cut us all sorts of slack this week while the afterglow lasts, so we'll probably take full advantage of the situation by violating all sorts of laws. That's right: we're going to park more than a foot from the curb, cross against the traffic light, and loiter. Brazenly.

To bring this at least within spitting distance of being on-topic, we should point out that Panthers fans aren't the only people with dashed hopes this Monday morning. Mac rumor addicts who refused to take Apple at its word and clung to desperate hopes that a surprise Apple ad was in the offing have TiVoed through the entire broadcast six times (strangely, we keep overhearing the phrase "pausing on Janet"), searching for Appley goodness to no avail. At this point we have to think it's safe to say that the reports of Steve's utter indifference to the event were legit and Apple really doesn't plan any big celebration for the Mac's 20th birthday, because the Super Bowl was probably our last reasonable shot at it.

So that's it, then: the Mac turned twenty, and Apple only marked the occasion with a few introductory comments by Steve Jobs during his last keynote address and a "special edition" reissue of the 1984 ad-- a reissue that was never actually broadcast, during the Super Bowl or otherwise. What, no stunningly original new Mac? No Cookie Puss ice cream cake from Carvel? Not even a stinkin' celebratory press release? We bet the anthropomorphized Mac platform feels just like Samantha in Sixteen Candles, only it doesn't even get to make out with the school hunk at the end. (Well, as far as we know.)

So, sorry, Super Bowl hopers; apparently the Pepsi-iTunes ad was the closest thing to an Apple commercial you'd get. On the plus side, if you've decided to obsess over it in lieu of having an actual Apple commercial to watch, Apple has accommodatingly posted a crisp and clean QuickTime version in multiple resolutions, and as of last night, the full version of the just-for-the-ad cover of "I Fought the Law" by Green Day is now available for download from the iTunes Music Store. Drink a Pepsi or three and you can even get it for free. Is sixty ounces of sugar water enough to drown your disappointment? Maybe. But at the very least you'll probably be able to sing the entire birthday song in one continuous burp, and really, what's more special than that?