As the Apple Turns: Scene 4523: Bulletproof On Broadway (2/23/04)

Bulletproof On Broadway (2/23/04)

Check it out-- we can dance if we want to! No doubt you've heard by now that Mac OS X has been declared "one of the world's safest operating systems" by a London pack of security experts, but we haven't had a chance to comment yet, so allow us to do a little jig in celebration of the inherent protection of our operating system of choice.

Okay, let's see, here... Ya ta ta... Ya ta ta... Thrust, spin, turn... Pivot, pout, jiggy... Jiggy, robot, do-si-do...

Trust us; it's a good thing you aren't seeing this.

If you're looking for a reason to bust a move of your own, faithful viewer hylas was the one who tipped us off to a Macworld UK article which quotes a report from London's mi2g: "The world's safest and most secure online server Operating System (OS) is proving to be the Open Source family of BSD (Berkeley Software Distribution) and Mac OS X based on Darwin." The firm bases its conclusions on a study of over 17,000 successful attacks against servers and networks, only 555 of which were breaches of BSD or Mac OS X. In contrast, Windows and Linux were compromised in well over 15,000 of the attacks. Holy server holes, Batman! And here's more to dance about: "For the first time, the number of recorded breaches against government servers running BSD or Mac OS X worldwide fell to zero in January 2004."

Now, Mac OS X topping the list comes as no particular shock, but we admit that we were surprised to see Linux coming out as far less secure in practice than Windows, with its 13,654 breaches massively outpacing Windows's 2005 to win the dubious title of "most breached online server OS." What's especially weird, though, is that in all previous years, there were more compromised Windows servers than Linux ones, and now suddenly Linux pulls into the lead by a factor of 7? The folks at mi2g think it's because so many more people are suddenly switching from Windows to Linux and aren't doing their homework first, but we can't help noticing that this overwhelming increase in Linux server hacks is reported just three months after Microsoft stood up in front of Big Business and declared that Windows is vastly more secure than Linux and "on average, Windows poses less of a security risk." Suppose Microsoft's got a massive room full of hackers who've spent the past year rooting unprotected Linux servers for the past year to skew the numbers in Microsoft's favor?

And then there's the other reason we might have to stop dancing pretty quickly (aside from the neighbors calling ambulances because they think we're having seizures): with Windows accounting for only 2005 breaches and BSD/Mac OS X grabbing 555, that implies that Mac OS X is barely four times as secure as Windows, which, frankly, scares the bejeezus out of us. Given how leaky Windows has proven to be over the years, you'd have to boost that number to at least 40 before we'd feel safe again. Forget dancing; if we're not even four times as safe as a Windows user, we might as well just lock ourselves in the cellar with a shotgun, a case of No-Doz, and four hundred cans of SPAM.

Wait... Breathe deeply. Relax. And repeat after us: "mi2g's study dealt purely with 'overt digital attacks by hackers' and ignored viruses and worms completely. mi2g's study dealt purely with 'overt digital attacks by hackers' and ignored viruses and worms completely. mi2g's study dealt purely with 'overt digital attacks by hackers' and ignored viruses and worms completely..."

Ahhhh... we almost feel like dancing again. Who's up for the Hustle?

SceneLink (4523)

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Mash-ups and original music by AtAT's former Intern and Goddess-in-Training

The above scene was taken from the 2/23/04 episode:

February 23, 2004: Mac OS X officially rates as the most secure server operating system; yay for us. Meanwhile, Motorola manages to churn out one more G4 revision before its chip division goes solo, and muggers are apparently targeting iPod owners as easy marks...

Other scenes from that episode:

4524: A New G4. Yay. Wheeeee. (2/23/04) Motorola's chip division isn't Freescale yet, but it's managed to squeeze out one more iteration of the G4 before it goes indie. We know, we know-- nothing about a new G4 quickens your pulse anymore, and these days your techno-lust is strictly G5-centric...
4525: White? No, These Are Ivory (2/23/04) How did we just know it would come to this? Simple: the experience of listening to an iPod is far too joyful and perfect an experience to avoid corruption by the baser elements of this degenerating world...

Or view the entire episode as originally broadcast...


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