How did we just know it would come to this? Simple: the experience of listening to an iPod is far too joyful and perfect an experience to avoid corruption by the baser elements of this degenerating world. iPod owners have always identified each other by spotting the telltale white earbuds, and while that practice started out as an innocent way for people who'd attained portable music nirvana to acknowledge the enlightenment of other similarly blessed individuals, back in November, things started to get a little dodgy.

The first signs of trouble surfaced when some iPod owners reported being approached by other 'Podites to engage in the promiscuous swapping of earbud jacks for thirty seconds of anonymous (dare we say "tawdry"?) tune-sharing. And okay, hey, free love and all that, yay freedom of expression, yay community of iPod lovers, but there's still something a little unsavory about wearing white earbuds and being accosted by a total stranger who takes that as a standing invitation to stick his own 'buds in your jack. 'Taint funny, McGee.

But now the white earbuds have taken on an even more unpleasant association: by wearing them, not only are you inviting others to invade your personal music space, but you're also signalling muggers that you're a good mark for a quick buck. Faithful viewer David Poves alerted us to an article in the Evening Standard which confirms our long-held worst suspicions: "A series of muggings of people for their iPods has been reported, and experts warn the distinctive white headphones could be the secret of its appeal to criminals."

The party's over, folks. In London, and no doubt elsewhere, wearing white earbuds is no longer the secret badge identifying you only to other smug members of the elite; now it's the equivalent of strapping a flashing neon sign to your head that says "BIG SCORE." Or "COME AND GET IT." Or, less concisely, "I'M CARRYING A TINY AND EASILY PAWNABLE PIECE OF ELECTRONIC EQUIPMENT THAT COST AT LEAST $299, AND I'M CURRENTLY LISTENING TO MUSIC SO THERE'S NO WAY I'D EVER HEAR YOU SNEAKING UP BEHIND ME WITH THAT BIG, SCARY KNIFE. OH, AND SINCE I'M RICH ENOUGH TO BLOW SEVERAL HUNDRED BUCKS ON AN iPOD, THE ODDS ARE PRETTY GOOD I'M ALSO CARRYING A REALLY NICE CELL PHONE AND A WALLET FULL OF CASH."

So if you're going to be listening to your 'Pod in public, particularly at night and in urban areas (we've yet to hear of an iPod-jacking by a cow or a gang of field mice, but you never know), you may want to consider getting an alternative set of earphones that don't act as a beacon for muggers out for an easy score. Or, if you really like the way your iPod earbuds sound and you don't want to drop the cash on a less conspicuous set, spend ten minutes with your existing 'buds and a Sharpie. Turquoise, anyone?