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Ham, Bacon, Retail Stores (2/25/04)
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Just a quickie, here, folks, on the prospect of further Apple retail stores in foreign lands. But first, an apology: a couple of days ago we made a throwaway comment about Canadians calling ham "bacon" and that appears to have offended a few of our normally easygoing neighbors to the north who were quick to insist that, in actuality, they call bacon "ham." Or maybe it's that we call bacon "ham," we forget. There's also some issue with "bacon" versus "back bacon," and apparently somehow universal health care and hockey fits into the whole thing, too; don't ask us, we really don't understand any of this whole bacon-ham imbroglio. We're vegan, remember? We eat Bac-Os.
Anyway, we're sorry if we offended the Canuck portion of our viewing audience; while we don't partake of your lovely meats, you should know that we're huge fans of your knack for teen melodrama, so we can state with complete confidence that this continent would be far the poorer without your presence.
Moving on, this is the part where we say "golly gee whillikers, what a coincidence!" Because here we are apologizing to Canada, and our topic for this scene just happens to be rumors of the imminent spread of Apple retail stores north of the border! How 'bout that? AppleInsider reports that, after peppering the U.S. with its stark 'n' swanky boutiques and then moving on to Japan and, allegedly, the U.K., Apple will soon be doubling back to its home continent to slap up a couple of stores in the Great White North. The first two stores are rumored to be going up in the Toronto area: the Yorkdale Shopping Centre and Toronto Eaton Centre. Other locations would presumably follow.
It's still just a rumor at this point, but a pretty believable one in our estimation. Sadly, there are no details about when these stores might open, but if we were Canadian we'd still be resting comfortably in the knowledge that, in addition to not having to shell out a thousand freakin' bucks a month for health insurance (on a totally unrelated note, have we mentioned lately that we're selling t-shirts?), someday soon we'd be able to get a little taste of retail heaven on earth. Life is good in the Northern Lands.
Of course, we still say that stuff ain't bacon.
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SceneLink (4531)
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And Now For A Word From Our Sponsors |
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 | | The above scene was taken from the 2/25/04 episode: February 25, 2004: Further details in the Eminem lawsuit emerge even as the Beatles lawsuit gets underway. Meanwhile, Microsoft backs Napster in hopes of getting WMA to win out over the iTunes Music Store's AAC, and rumors of Canadian Apple retail stores now mention specific locations...
Other scenes from that episode: 4529: A Tale Of Two Lawsuits (2/25/04) Insert cliché about the occurrence of precipitation generally coinciding with the condition known as "pouring" here; just yesterday we mentioned that rapper Eminem had sued Apple over the use of one of his songs in an iTunes commercial, and then today we find that bona fide courtroom drama has just commenced in the Apple-vs.-Apple (read: Beatles-vs.-Apple) legal tussle... 4530: The Cat Gets Deep Pockets (2/25/04) Wuh-oh, looks like dark forces are conspiring to end our Napster-bashing once and for all. Yes, the company might have taken twice as long as Apple to sell its first 5 million songs, despite selling to a market ten times the size; sure, the company lost $15 million in its first quarter and is selling "about a quarter" as many songs as the iTunes Music Store; okay, a ton of top executives have already flown the coop and a bunch of employees were pink-slipped last week-- but Napster can still crush the iTMS underfoot and turn Apple back into, of all things, a computer company...
Or view the entire episode as originally broadcast... | |  |
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