Meanwhile, how about them thar miniPods? Looks like all the teeth-gnashing and hair-pulling about the $249 sticker price was much ado about squat, because reportedly Apple can't keep up with the demand; the New York Daily News has a great article on mini madness and the resulting "Sold Out" signs going up across the country, with a near-suicidal investment manager who missed his chance ("I had it in my hands, and then I lost it") and an Apple spokesperson describing the public's hunger for the new player as "phenomenal." Tekserve owner Dick Demenus says, "We're turning away a hundred people a day"; we assume that's because his store's sold out, and not because he just doesn't like people. So much for the miniPod pulling a Cube. See? If the Cube had only come in five different colors, things just may have turned out differently.

Indeed, the rampant success of the miniPod appears to have inspired Apple's retail division, as well; faithful viewer Frozen Tundra informed us of a Think Secret article which claims that "Apple will expand its retail presence by rolling out a host of smaller 'mini' retail stores." And in one way, this is nothing new: Apple's first stores were huge, sprawling things; after a while, newer locations were a bit more sedate with the square footage; and most recently, Apple has opened stores (apart from the hulking "flagship" locations) so small they don't even have a theater. (What self-respecting retail store doesn't have a theater? Sheesh.) And CFO Fred Anderson recently admitted that, if Apple had to do it all over again, it would have started with smaller stores in the first place.

But these new ministores are rumored to be even smaller still, and although "specific details are scarce," we've been poking at some of our own sources in the field, and the ones who didn't threaten to "hurt us if we didn't stop doing that" confirmed that, yes, the ministores are coming, and yes, they're going to be tiny. How tiny? Think "Sunglass Hut" crossed with "Orange Julius." And while that may sound too small to be useful, here's the brilliant bit: each mall will have five ministores, and each store will be a different metallic color. Actual sales data prove that this approach can't possibly fail!

And what if the miniPod's recipe for success loses something in the translation to the ministores? Fear not, for Apple has other plans to ensure a steady stream of business. Since it wants to make the stores as small as possible while also keeping costs way down, the company is considering building them in-- and you're going to faint with the utter brilliance of this scheme-- bathroom stalls. Just think: a quick coat of metallic paint, a single employee with sales and janitorial experience, and each store is guaranteed an unending supply of captive customers. The ones who show up without reading material will boost Apple's sales of AirPort-equipped iBooks at least tenfold alone.