Role Reversal Is A Kick (3/18/04)
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And thus does another tech prediction come to pass! Remember way back in August of 2001 when we mentioned how Intel was starting to backpedal on the whole "Gigahertz is God" strategy? Don't forget, these are the guys who, for untold millennia now, have always led the buying public with the simple equation of "Faster Clock Speed = Faster Computers," while companies like Apple have tried to fight that misconception. But when Intel's desktop Pentium 4 hit 2.0 GHz while its heavy-hitter high-end server chip the Itanium only ran at 800 MHz, the company suddenly had some 'splainin' to do. Back then the head of Intel's Architecture Group proclaimed that "computer users will soon care less about processor speed and more about overall performance." In other words, "We know the Itanium's 'only' an 800 MHz chip, but it's faster, we swear-- c'mon, somebody buy one. Please? Anybody?"

Back then, not many people did. Maybe Intel should have linked to Apple's "Megahertz Myth" page. Heck, maybe Apple will just give it to Intel, since with the G5 kicking kiester, the company doesn't seem to be using it anymore.

Incidentally, that "overall performance" comment may well have been the reason for Intel's deafening silence when Apple touted the Power Mac G5 as the world's fastest desktop personal computer last June; the new Power Macs combined zippy chips with massive memory bandwidth to create a Total Package o' Speed™ that few could ignore. Indeed, Intel's new "less is more" marketing philosophy has now extended to an almost complete rejection of clock speed as selling point: faithful viewer mrmgraphics notes a CNET article reporting that, as of this May, Intel will "adopt a new system for differentiating its processors that de-emphasizes the widely used gigahertz, or clock speed." Gee, and just in time, what with Apple expecting to hit 3.0 GHz later this summer. Coincidence? Or does Intel just see the handwriting on the wall?

Starting in May, Intel will assign each of its processors "a number designed to help consumers decipher how the features stack up against other processors in the same family"-- a number that ranks chips not just by clock speed, but also by bus speed and cache size. Reportedly the numbers will be "in the ranges of 300, 500, and 700, similar to the model numbers BMW uses on its sedans." Hey! No fair! Doesn't Apple have the copyright on comparing computer tech to BMWs? Maybe that only applies to market share comparisons.

Interestingly, AMD did the exact same thing with its processors a few years back when it got sick of people thinking its chips were slower than Intel's just because of slower clock speeds. Which means that, most likely, pretty soon Apple's going to be the only major computer manufacturer differentiating its systems (well, its pro desktops, anyway) primarily by clock speed. Who saw that coming?

That said, even when the G5 hits 3.0 GHz, it may be quite a while before Apple wins bragging rights on clock speed; Intel's Pentium 4 "Extreme Edition" (ugh, the tech world really needs to stop using that word) already runs at up to 3.4 GHz. But the way things are going, there really may come a day within our lifetimes when Apple ships chips that undeniably beat Intel's both on clock speed and in overall performance. And then those of us who suffered through the Motorola G4 years ("An Extra 50 MHz Every 18 Months, Whether You Need It Or Not!") can all drink the Kool-Aid and shuffle off these mortal coils with smiles on our faces.

Or, um, stick around and have fun with the really fast Macs. Whichever.

 
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The above scene was taken from the 3/18/04 episode:

March 18, 2004: Apple's home page features-- believe it or not-- a Macintosh! Meanwhile, Intel tries to downplay the significance of processor clock speed, and the Apple retail page briefly displays a baffling blurb instructing shoppers to ask Mac Specialists about Nike shoes...

Other scenes from that episode:

  • 4577: What's THAT Doing There? (3/18/04)   Something is wrong. Can you feel it? Something is very, very wrong. Clearly the universe has gone off its tracks. Up is down. Black is white. Weird things are happening: earthquakes. Volcanoes...

  • 4579: "It's Gotta Be The Shoes" (3/18/04)   Forgive us if we seem even more befuddled than usual today, but we're still recovering from our St. Patrick's Day debauchery. Not that we're hung over, or nursing head wounds, or anything like that; we've never really gone in for the traditional U.S. St. Paddy's Day activities of guzzling green beer, getting into bar brawls, and barring people from parades...

Or view the entire episode as originally broadcast...

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