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Automation Gone Awry (9/1/98)
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Yet another Stevenote address has come and gone, and by now we're sure you've heard that there were few surprises in store for the Seybold audience. We now have the official word that the PowerBook G3 line is being revamped with standard 14.1" screens, but there was no new information about the consumer portable. Mac OS 8.5 will ship in October, and Mac OS X will be out over a little over a year from now. Nothing we haven't heard before. There's a great rundown of the major points at Mac OS Rumors.
In fact, there wasn't much new information at all, except for a startling revelation that Steve let slip during the Applescript demonstration. Applescript, as you are all no doubt aware, is a remarkably versatile scripting system, and can be used to do just about anything-- which is why Steve finally admitted that Apple has "written a big Applescript, and it's actually running the company." Say hello to the virtual CEO. The cat's out of the bag, now.
And for those of you who assumed that Steve's comment was simply a joke, well, that's what they want you to think. Wake up and smell the coffee, kids... Apple Computer isn't the only entity being run entirely by huge chunks of Applescript code. That's right... after shining a desk lamp on an "X" taped onto our window, a mysterious agent showed up and revealed what we've long suspected to be true: the President of this country doesn't hold any real power, and it doesn't lie in the hands of some supersecret consortium, either. The U. S. government is run entirely by a gigantic Applescript running on a single 7100/80. The reason it's kept a secret is that Apple thinks the truth would be bad for business; after all, the government is big, slow, and incomprehensible-- what kind of advertising is that? However, with the new PPC-native Applescript in Mac OS 8.5, we hope that the artificial intelligence built into the government's script will automatically trigger an OS upgrade for an up-to-fourfold increase in speed. But given the script's seemingly arbitrary spending choices, we're not holding our breath.
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SceneLink (982)
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And Now For A Word From Our Sponsors |
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 | | The above scene was taken from the 9/1/98 episode: September 1, 1998: The truth is out there-- Apple Computer is being run entirely by a huge Applescript, and they're not alone. Meanwhile, Bill Gates may not have been quite vague enough during his deposition, and the government uses his own words against him...
Other scenes from that episode: 983: What He Didn't Say (9/1/98) Apparently the Department of Justice finds Bill Gates' statements during his "Redmond Justice" deposition to be somewhat incriminating. A recent plot twist revealed Microsoft's request to have the entire case dismissed, on the basis of its appellate court victory which overturned last December's infamous preliminary injunction...
Or view the entire episode as originally broadcast... | |  |
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