Well, it's official: Apple has in fact reinstated all those pre-October 13th G4 orders that it had originally cancelled. In fact, it's not just official, it's officially official-- instead of simply contacting the affected customers, Apple's issued an honest-to-goodness public press release announcing the decision's reversal, admitting the screw-up, and apologizing for what some might call a "regrettable error in judgment" and others might call "one seriously boneheaded move." And while it may seem out of place for a man with an ego the size of Montana to admit to a mistake and apologize in public, that's just what Steve Jobs has done. The man is pure class.

"We clearly dropped the ball in this instance," says Steve. "We apologize to our customers for upsetting and disappointing them during this past week. Our actions today will hopefully set things right." Aww, that's okay, Steve-- we could never stay mad at you. But we're just a little concerned for your welfare. Cancelling existing orders and forcing customers to re-order at higher prices? There's only one thing that could make that sound like a good idea: some seriously bad drugs. So we're glad to see that you've come down off the brown acid and appear to have suffered no long-term ill effects, but stay clean this time, okay? It's the '90s, man.

Then again, we're starting to wonder how crazy the whole idea was in the first place. As Steve himself puts it, "Good companies make mistakes. Great companies fix them." So there you have it; this whole spiel was simply Steve making Apple a good company by alienating the entire customer base, and then making it a great company by asking for forgiveness. In this manner, Apple achieved greatness in a matter of five short days, all thanks to Steve Jobs' Subtle Plan™. Now that's Thinking Different. Ly. Whatever.

Okay, now that we've got cool new iMacs on the shelves, iBooks trickling into the channel (albeit at the rate of a tranquilized sloth), and the brand-new Power Mac G4 ("Now even slower for your safety!"), it's time for Apple to focus on updating the fourth quadrant of its Amazing Grid O' Products. We speak, of course, of the professional portable line, also known as the PowerBook. The PowerBook G3 last got a refresh back in May, when the "bronze" models introduced a lighter, slimmer design, a longer battery life, and most importantly, an Apple logo that glows brightly when the unit is on. But that was five whole months ago, and compared to the other three products in Apple's line-up, the PowerBook is starting to look positively outdated.

And it shows, too-- in the sales numbers, which, according to Apple Insider, have been less than stellar recently. And that isn't all that surprising, either, considering that people who need a portable Mac now have the iBook as an option as well. Clearly, the PowerBook is going to need a serious dose of mojo in order to keep up with the rest of the Mac party. Reportedly, that's just what's going to happen when Apple unveils the next PowerBook at the Macworld Expo this January. We're talking G3s running at up to 500MHz, dual USB ports, on-board FireWire (finally!), and an Airport slot and built-in antennae. (Does anyone else find it strange that Apple's professional laptop is its last product to gain seamless wireless networking capability?)

The real killer, though, is what Apple Insider is saying about the new PowerBook's battery life. Because the new "Pismo" logic board is based on the energy-efficient Single Common Unified Architecture (SCUA? Who comes up with this stuff?), Apple may be able to squeeze a whopping 8-10 hours of life out of each battery. Can you just see the ad campaign? "Enough juice to watch Austin Powers. Six times." Or, better yet, "Enough juice to watch Andy Warhol's Empire. Once. With a little luck. Assuming you really want to watch the Empire State Building for eight straight hours as lights get turned on and off." Hmmm, maybe we'll leave the advertising to Chiat-Day...

Rule 6 in the Bill Gates Guide To World Domination: If you can't beat 'em, cut their funding. The latest gigglefest in the ongoing "Redmond Justice" struggle first came to our attention on Friday, when faithful viewer Todd Wheeler pointed out a Washington Post article about Microsoft's latest strategy to free themselves from their sticky Department of Justice woes. Get this: despite the fact that they're actively engaged in a massive public antitrust battle against the government agency, Microsoft apparently figures there's nothing wrong with "aggressively pressing Congress to reduce next year's proposed funding for the Justice Department's antitrust division."

Oh, brother. We're rendered almost speechless by the sheer baldfacedness of it all. Luckily, others are stepping in to provide a wealth of wonderful quotes. Take, for example, the same Post article, which includes the line, "it is more uncommon to seek an across-the-board cut in a department's budget, especially in the middle of a major court battle." Intentionally funny, or is it just the deadpan delivery? You be the judge. Then there's a Reuters report, forwarded to us by faithful viewer Porsupah, which is filled with gems: an anonymous member of the Washington antitrust bar noted that Microsoft's actions are "like the Mafia trying to defund the FBI," while a Microsoft spokesman admits to "talking" to members of Congress about the proposed funding cuts, but states that it's "not a major priority of Microsoft." (Apparently derailing the government's antitrust division is just a hobby.)

But the winner of this week's Award for Sheer Irony goes to Senator Slade Gorton (R) who, according to The Register, lobbied for the reduction in DoJ funds on the grounds that the department has "demonised the most innovative, extraordinary world-changing engine for progress that this world may ever have seen." Wow, we had no idea that the DoJ was going after Gutenberg and his moveable type. Whoops, no, sorry-- our mistake; Gorton's actually talking about Microsoft. Can somebody order a drug test, please? We strongly suspect we've discovered Steve's supplier for that bad brown acid...