It's obviously the hottest new trend to hit the tech billionaire set since amassing fleets of private aircraft: global domination through extreme real estate transactions! Scarcely a week has elapsed since we first discussed the intriguing rumor that Apple was investing a hefty sum in HavenCo, a data haven company that's on-- and sort of is-- the Principality of Sealand, the world's smallest independent country. We proposed that this was a transparent attempt on Uncle Steve's part to further his plans for world domination by first controlling the finances of a tiny country, then assuming total control of that country, and finally annexing other nations by the liberal application of vast stores of HavenCo-generated wealth. (Really, could it be more obvious?) The end result, of course, is Emperor Steve ruling the world with a fruit-flavored fist in a translucent glove. Here's hoping that life under a benevolent dictatorship has its advantages, like tax breaks for Mac users and really cool multicolored currency featuring the glowing image of Steve in a turtleneck.

But wait! Steve's not the only rich geek laying out huge chunks of cash for strategically-important real estate deals. According to The Register, none other than the sweater-clad Bill Gates has just shelled out $19 million for part of Lanai, "the Hawaiian island where he tied the knot with Mrs. Gates." (Actually, what he's done is buy 6.3% of a property company called Castle & Cooke, which just happens to own "much" of Lanai.) Awww, isn't that romantic? Well, yeah, that's just what he wants you to think; if you're marvelling at the prospect of a rich geek shoveling wads of money into a sentimental undertaking, you're probably too busy to notice what's really going on. See, while Steve's plan is to take over a tiny country and make it huge, Bill's taking the less visionary (big surprise) and more obvious route to planetary control: he's buying part of the most powerful country in the world. Mark our words-- once he owns part of Lanai, he'll go on to buy the whole state, then Alaska, and finally the entire continental United States, working west to east. The only question remaining is whether he can close the deal on buying his own global superpower before Steve's empire annexes all of Europe and Asia and poses a formidable threat.

And lest you think this is a two-horse race, don't forget the wildcard: one Larry Ellison, who's got nearly as much wealth as Gates (some say more, depending on the stock market at a given moment) and a competitive streak eight miles wide. While one might expect Larry to go in on Steve's takeover plans, given that the two are bestest buddies, we think Larry's ego will push him to start his own global empire instead. In fact, right now he's probably counting his assets and trying to get a price for Tasmania or something. Billionaires will be billionaires, right?

Remember yesterday, when we discussed the dreaded "single-platform" edict that signals the death of all Macs at many a Windows-duped company? That kind of attitude is symptomatic of a much larger problem: Macs get absolutely zero respect in the enterprise world. In the realm of white collars and cubicles, it's all about "standards" (which is another word for "Microsoft") and Macs are viewed as far too frivolous and nonstandard to fit into such a serious environment. ("Well, except for maybe those goofs in the Marketing department; let 'em have their toys. The rest of us have real work to do.")

Now, Apple's done little to break into the enterprise market in recent years, choosing instead to go after consumers, schools, and creative professionals. And to a certain extent, why should they bother courting the beige-liking, same-thinking business world? As far as we can tell, there's at least one really good reason: so Mac people won't have to endure Windows Hell for eight hours a day. But until the Suits get some respect for the platform, that's not likely to happen, and until the platform gets some more business-type applications, you can forget about the respect.

That's why we were startled and gratified to read over at InfoWorld that Inprise/Borland has announced support for Mac OS X in an upcoming release of its JBuilder development tool. Granted, a development package like JBuilder isn't exactly an enterprise title. Okay, so it's not an enterprise title at all. But Inprise/Borland is definitely a business-oriented company with a host of enterprise software on its product list, so a show of respect from them may carry a little weight with the Suits. Looks like Mac OS X, with its industrial-strength undercarriage, may well signal the Mac's introduction to serious enterprise attention. Or, at least, tolerance. And the surprising fact that Borland's announcement met with a "rousing reception" from the "typically Windows crowd" is a great sign as well; even Windows programmers are excited about writing software for Mac OS X. Who knows? In another couple of years, there may be a lot more translucent plastic in the average business cubicle. Meanwhile, those of you who are stuck staring at a Task Bar and Start button five days a week, hang in there-- we feel for you.

Were you worried that MacWEEK's new "we're a serious news organization now" direction would render the long-standing publication just another bland site on the Mac news web? So were we-- and probably with good reason, because we find ourselves visiting that site less and less often. A quick gander at the main page doesn't inspire us to dig any deeper; while we're sure there are some hard-nosed news addicts out there who will delight in poring over every detail about Media 100's new web-enabled editing systems and the cutbacks at ScanSoft, we confess our tastes-- and attention spans-- run more toward the content and style of the late, lamented Mac the Knife.

So, ever since the site "retired" the Knife as part of its attempt to foster a more "responsible" image, we've been pretty much staying away from MacWEEK due to a marked lack of drama and intrigue. There's one aspect of MacWEEK, though, which has enough soap opera stylings to qualify for a couple of daytime Emmy awards. Ironically enough, the very Stephen Beale editorial that announced the Knife's retirement and ushered in MacWEEK's new role as a mature, bland, and drama-free site touched off a firestorm of flames and outright online nastiness. In addition to allegedly lying about "retiring" the Knife (many, many people attest to the fact that the Knife left the publication of his own accord in February along with a slew of other discontented staff), Beale reportedly cast aspersions on the journalistic integrity of the publication's former staff in private email to MacWEEK readers. Several members of said former staff found out, and responded publicly-- painting Beale in a, shall we say, "less-than-flattering" manner. And adding to it all is the din of a kajillion old Knife fans bemoaning the departure of their favorite absinthe-soaked utensil.

If you haven't been keeping up on the delightful he-said-she-said drama that's been unfolding for the past ten days, you're really missing out. Luckily for you, Think Secret has an excellent blow-by-blow account of the whole situation, including links to Beale-rebuttals from former MacWEEK alumni including Daniel Drew Turner ("Now I'm just offended"), Matthew Rothenberg ("Mr. Beale's... deriding my colleagues and me [is] unprofessional, inaccurate and unacceptable"), and Rick LePage ("For Mr. Beale... to blithely assassinate the character of someone who he barely knows... is wrong"). Beale and the rest of the staff of the Shiny New MacWEEK evidently found all this dialogue unsavory, since they removed the link to the editorial from the MacWEEK home page, despite the fact that links to much older material remain. In closing, despite our worst fears, MacWEEK is not too boring now-- you just have to know where to look.