Okay, let's see, here: Apple has already alienated several of its resellers to the point of legal action by first launching its own direct-sales online store and then by opening its own chain of retail locations. Assuming that the company won't be satisfied until it ticks off all of its resale partners, what else can Apple do to shake the hive a little more? Well, think about it for a sec; the Big Three in reseller categories are Online, Retail, and... Mail Order. We know, we know-- the whole "hey, I'm flipping through a dead-tree glossy catalog from MacWareZoneMallConnection so I can phone in an order for the latest version of RAM Doubler" just screams "1995." But the mail order catalogs (most of them, anyway) are still doing business, which means that Apple might well be looking for a way to chow down on a hunk of that pie.

As always, nothing's definite, but faithful viewer frozen tundra notes that Think Secret is reporting the existence of a "feasibility study" from "late last year" that Apple allegedly commissioned from PricewaterhouseCoopers. (Yes, apparently those guys who tally up the Oscar votes actually do other things during the Academy Awards off-season. Go figure.) Apple reportedly hired PwC to investigate any "tax issues" surrounding the launch of a mail order direct sales business, and the findings appear to be largely favorable, indicating that if Apple goes the catalog route it may well be able to stiff all states but California on sales tax, and it closes by suggesting a cost/benefit analysis to determine whether such an expansion would be wise.

Oh, and did we mention that the whole mail order thing is reportedly referred to only as "Project Trident"? Oooooh, how James Bond! We bet the guy who assembled the report has a hideous facial scar, a monocle, and a Nehru jacket.

Whether or not the final cost/benefit analysis was ever completed is a matter of some speculation, but do you remember when Apple summarily shut down its manufacturing plant in Sacramento a few weeks back? Well, Think Secret reports "buzz" that the plant's closure "was related to the mail order operation." Apparently Apple still has a lease on the building, and there are rumors that the company "is making moves to install telephones and a work mezzanine to populate the building with sales callers and other staff." If that's the case, we'll probably hear about this move in some official capacity before the end of summer; you can't hide a few hundred phone slaves forever. At least, not without a really secluded place to bury the bodies.

Assuming that it does launch a catalog reseller subsidiary, the biggest hurdle that Apple now faces is the choice of a suitable name. Most of the obvious "MacSomething" monikers are taken, and with good reason, since federal statutes require the name of any Apple mail order reseller to start with the word "Mac." (CDW only got away with using its scofflaw moniker through the judicious application of a whole lotta bribes; now that it owns MacWarehouse it's technically in compliance.) Just about all that's left is "MacCallUsAndBuySomethingAlready," and we suspect that focus groups might feel it lacks "oomph." We'll see.

Well, poke us in the eye and call us Squinty-- no one told us that Apple was planning on making a MAJOR REVELATION today! Had we known, we would have prepared; thrown a cake in the oven, hung colorful streamers from the ceiling, lit the candles in the Jobs shrine, that sort of thing. Or, at the very least, we might have showered and put on pants. Just to lend the announcement a sense of occasion, you know?

So just what is this MAJOR REVELATION, you ask? Stevenotes and Tigers and syslogs, oh my! According to faithful viewer mrmgraphics, it seems that Apple has seen fit to issue a press release announcing that, when the Worldwide Developers Conference kicks off at the end of next month, the geektivities will commence with that most cherished of happenings, an authentic Steve Jobs keynote address. Moreover, Apple has even decided to reveal one of the topics of said Stevenote-- to wit, "a preview of 'Tiger,' the next major release of Mac OS X." Oooh, now that the cat's out of the bag (or at least its particular species is), Panther's already starting to feel a wee bit creaky and decrepit, isn't it?

Actually, now that we've thought about it a bit, it occurs to us that this possibly isn't all that much of a MAJOR REVELATION after all. The fact that Steve will be starting the show with a keynote address will only shock those who somehow failed to notice that he's done the same thing for something like five years running. Likewise, given that last year's Stevenote was heavy on Panther and 2002's was all about Jaguar, only the perennially stoned or newly non-comatose will derive any astonishment from the disclosure that a dominant topic will be the next major release of Mac OS X. Meanwhile, Mac OS X 10.4 officially being named "Tiger" isn't a surprise, since it was widely rumored about a month ago. And none of the revealed features in Tiger are much of a curveball, either, because, well, there are no features discussed in the announcement, and all we know for sure so far is that Tiger will include that keen Spoken Interface technology.

Still, questionable MAJOR REVELATION status notwithstanding, it is still nice to get official confirmation of facts most of us had already taken for granted. If you're hoping to catch the Stevenote live and in person, though, it'll cost you big time; whereas a conference pass to Macworld Expo used to run a mere couple hundred smackers and got you access to the show floor and a slew of general-Mac-interest sessions, a WWDC ticket will set you back at least $1,295 (that's with the Early Registration Discount) and offers such non-Stevenote activities as "Beyond syslog: The New Log Subsystem," the likes of which will probably bore non-developers right out of their skivvies. So while a webcast of the Stevenote is almost certainly in the offing (especially since "members of the media and industry analysts are invited to attend the keynote"), keep your fingers crossed anyway, just in case. That's one MAJOR REVELATION we don't want to miss.

Meanwhile, even as Mac fans get ready to drool all over whatever Tiger turns out to be when it first greets its eager public next month, Windows enthusiasts-- yes, contrary to all logic, they really do exist-- are getting all worked up over Longhorn. Longhorn, you may recall, is the next major version of Windows-- or will be, when it finally ships a couple of years from now (optimistically speaking). But despite the fact that a release version of Longhorn is still ages from seeing the light of day, the embryonic operating system is apparently the talk of the town at this week's Windows Hardware Engineering Conference.

Not that we're criticizing, mind you; don't forget how late Mac OS X was to market, how incomplete it was when it finally got there, and how many years Apple had been seeding developers with prerelease builds and technical info before 10.0 ever hit store shelves. It would be downright hypocritical to bag on Microsoft for hyping Longhorn so far in advance of it becoming an actual shipping product; not that we're above committing sins of hypocrisy, mind you (see, look: "We hate 'net-based soap operas that always broadcast late!" Piece of cake), but given our own forty years in the desert waiting for Mac OS X, we're actually willing to cut Microsoft some slack on the whole Longhorn ship date thing.

The system requirements, however, are a whole 'nother wad o' wax. Faithful viewer Dan Ward noticed a Microsoft Watch article last Friday which describes Microsoft's idea of the "average" computer to run Longhorn: "a dual-core CPU running a 4 to 6 GHz; a minimum of 2 GB of RAM; up to a terabyte of storage; a 1 Gbit, built-in, Ethernet-wired port and an 802.11g wireless link; and a graphics processor that runs three times faster than those on the market today."

No problem.

Now, okay, granted, Longhorn is probably at least two years away, and there's all that great stuff about the advancement of high tech: Moore's Law, the irrepressible march of progress, etc. Nevertheless, even bearing all that in mind, we still have to offer the observation that-- and we mean this in the strictest technical sense, you understand-- holy crap.

Seriously, just think of it: Microsoft's idea of the "average" Longhorn-capable system is a computer that won't even be available for ready money for at least another year yet, and when it does ship, it'll probably cost two or three grand. Imagine if, when Mac OS X 10.0 had shipped, it had required a minimum of a dual-500 MHz G4, half a gig of RAM, an 80 GB hard disk, and a GeForce 3. Apple would have sold about three copies.

Maybe we're seriously underestimating the coming advancements in computer technology over the course of the next two years and Microsoft's average Longhorn system will be readily available in 2006 and priced to move at $400 apiece, but somehow we doubt it. In fact, we strongly suspect that with system requirements like these, the transition to Longhorn won't exactly be a cakewalk. In the meantime, we Mac users have Tiger to look forward to, and possibly Cougar, Leopard, and/or Lynx as well. Things are really starting to get interesting, aren't they?

And I guess we can all officially stop whining about beige G3s not being supported in Panther...