Again! It happened again! Mike Dell's worship of All Things Steve has sunk to a new low-- by virtue of having sunk to an old low. Remember last year, when the normally-financially-overachieving Apple issued an earnings warning due to the scarceness of G4 processors? Remember how, less than a month later, the usually-financially-solid Dell issued its own earnings warning, thus firmly shifting what we had formerly classified as Mike's "unhealthy obsession" squarely into the category of "freaky stalker-type psychosis"? Well, if you're up to speed on all that, then these latest developments won't seem particularly new or surprising-- just sad. And a little creepy.

Faithful viewer Tim Rzeznik (who, suspiciously enough, also alerted us to Apple's surprise earnings warning over a year ago-- coincidence?) was the first to report the news of Dell's most recent plight. According to CNET, the company is seeing slower-than-expected revenue growth; apparently it's looking at only 7%, instead of the 10% it originally forecast. In a Reuters article about this appalling turn of events, Mike blames the shortfall on Europe, stating that Europeans "have been significantly less inclined to make expenditures in terms of technology." (In short, he's saying that Europeans are cheap, euro-pinching bastards responsible for the impending collapse of the New Economy. Well, okay, that wasn't much shorter. Whatever.) As a result, Dell's quarterly revenue will come to a piddly $8.2 billion. We find it amazing that the company can even keep its doors open.

Unfortunately for Mike, his company's revenue warning wasn't nearly as effective as Apple's bombshell. Dell's stock only dipped a few points in after-hours trading, from roughly $28.50 to $25.50. Compare that to Apple's far more impressive downward spiral, in which its stock lost half its value overnight; a week ago, AAPL was hovering above $50, and now it's struggling to stay afloat at $23. In fact, Apple's decline pulled the rest of the market down with it. Now that's an earnings warning, baby!

So, just as the now-discontinued WebPC failed to capture the hearts and wallets of the market as the iMac did, Mike's second copycat financial warning fell far short of its potential. Perhaps when Apple issues an earnings warning next year, Dell will follow up with a doozy that'll decimate its stock price, cripple the economy, and send the board of directors leaping to their sorry deaths. Third time's the charm.